ILNews

Making Rain: When a room full of strangers freaks you out

Dona Stohler
August 13, 2014
Back to TopCommentsE-mailPrintBookmark and Share

MakingRain.jpgAs most good rainmakers know, it is all about networking, and sometimes this means talking to people who are total strangers. It can be daunting to attend an event that your firm is sponsoring or a conference that your target market attends and be expected to “go out there and make new friends.” There are ways you can make this easier on yourself and be more strategic about how you use these opportunities.

First of all, it is good to have a purpose. Set some goals you would like to accomplish while you are there. These goals can be things like meet at least two people who I do not know or ask someone I know to introduce me to at least three people they know. By doing this, you will have a goal in mind when you walk in the room and it will distract you from being nervous or feeling awkward about showing up where you may not know anyone.

It’s also good to keep in mind that you are not there to actually hand someone an engagement letter. You are just there to learn enough about someone else that you have a reason to get back together with them or stay in touch with them. So, take the pressure off yourself and just try to talk to people about things that will give you enough information to have a jumping off point for another conversation.

Another idea that may help put you at ease is to think of yourself as someone who is attending to put people together. You are there so that you can help. You are the host/hostess and want to make sure everyone has a good time and meaningful conversations. When you talk to these “perfect strangers,” you will be asking them questions so you can introduce them to others. An example might be that you start talking to Fred. You ask him what he likes to do when he’s not working and he says skydiving. You see another person you want to meet, so you say, “I’d like you to meet Fred. He skydives. Oh, and by the way, I’m Julie.”

Part of your goal setting may be to try to find a particular person you want to meet who is planning to attend. For many events, especially ones your firm sponsors, you can get the attendee list ahead of the event. Look at it and see if any of your prospects are on it. If so, one of your goals is to ask around to find someone who knows this person and can introduce you. If you can’t get the list ahead of time, look to see who is on the organization’s board of directors. There may be some people on their board that you would like to meet. It is a great way to break the ice with someone you don’t know by simply asking them if they know the person you are trying to find.

Have some good questions in mind to ask once you introduce yourself to someone. Chit-chat and talking about the weather might be great for purely social situations, but you are there to meet your next big client. Ask questions that are going to be engaging enough that you have a reason to talk to this person again. Some examples are:

• What is the most exciting thing happening at your company right now?

• What do you like most about what you do?

• What is the most challenging thing happening in your industry?

• What made you decide to attend this event?

• How do you like this event compared to others you have attended recently?

• What is the profile of your typical customer/client?

You also want to have an exit strategy. You don’t want to get stuck talking to the same person for the duration of the event. To avoid this, there are a couple things you can do. One is to approach pairs or small groups, not people standing by themselves. By talking to two people who are already talking, you can easily break away from them without leaving someone standing alone.

If you are stuck with one person, introduce them to someone you know that happens to be nearby and then tactfully excuse yourself and move on. Or if you have asked the right questions you will know what kind of person they would like to meet. Help them find that person and introduce them, then move on.

If you try all this and it feels much better, congratulations, you have survived the first phase of this process. You attended the event and you have made a few connections. It isn’t time to stop now. Ask yourself these questions:

• Did I meet someone who I can continue a conversation with over coffee, breakfast or lunch?

• Did I meet someone who can help introduce me to a prospect?

• Did I have at least one productive conversation that will enable me to contact this person to help them solve a problem?

• Did I find at least one of the people on my prospect list that I was looking for?

Hopefully, you can say “yes” to at least one of these questions. If you can, then the next steps are up to you. Follow up and continue the relationship-building process. Set a time to get back together with your new connections in a few weeks or a month. Before you know it, you will be well on your way to finding a new client or good referral source.

Turning dread into a purpose that you have prepared for will change the way you look at the role you play when confronted with attending your next event. Maybe a room full to strangers won’t result in you feeling excited and energized, but it will no longer freak you out.•

__________

Dona Stohler of S2 Law Firm Strategies provides consulting services on business development and marketing for law firms. Stohler has more than a decade of experience in the legal services industry and is the past chair of the U.S. Law Firm Group marketing committee. She can be reached at dsstohler@s2lawfirmstrategies.com or through www.S2lawfirmstrategies.com. The opinions expressed are those of the author.

ADVERTISEMENT

Post a comment to this story

COMMENTS POLICY
We reserve the right to remove any post that we feel is obscene, profane, vulgar, racist, sexually explicit, abusive, or hateful.
 
You are legally responsible for what you post and your anonymity is not guaranteed.
 
Posts that insult, defame, threaten, harass or abuse other readers or people mentioned in Indiana Lawyer editorial content are also subject to removal. Please respect the privacy of individuals and refrain from posting personal information.
 
No solicitations, spamming or advertisements are allowed. Readers may post links to other informational websites that are relevant to the topic at hand, but please do not link to objectionable material.
 
We may remove messages that are unrelated to the topic, encourage illegal activity, use all capital letters or are unreadable.
 

Messages that are flagged by readers as objectionable will be reviewed and may or may not be removed. Please do not flag a post simply because you disagree with it.

Sponsored by
ADVERTISEMENT
Subscribe to Indiana Lawyer
  1. The voices of the prophets are more on blogs than subway walls these days, Dawn. Here is the voice of one calling out in the wilderness ... against a corrupted judiciary ... that remains corrupt a decade and a half later ... due to, so sadly, the acquiescence of good judges unwilling to shake the forest ... for fear that is not faith .. http://www.ogdenonpolitics.com/2013/09/prof-alan-dershowitz-on-indiana.html

  2. So I purchased a vehicle cash from the lot on West Washington in Feb 2017. Since then I found it the vehicle had been declared a total loss and had sat in a salvage yard due to fire. My title does not show any of that. I also have had to put thousands of dollars into repairs because it was not a solid vehicle like they stated. I need to find out how to contact the lawyers on this lawsuit.

  3. It really doesn't matter what the law IS, if law enforcement refuses to take reports (or take them seriously), if courts refuse to allow unrepresented parties to speak (especially in Small Claims, which is supposedly "informal"). It doesn't matter what the law IS, if constituents are unable to make effective contact or receive any meaningful response from their representatives. Two of our pets were unnecessarily killed; court records reflect that I "abandoned" them. Not so; when I was denied one of them (and my possessions, which by court order I was supposed to be able to remove), I went directly to the court. And earlier, when I tried to have the DV PO extended (it expired while the subject was on probation for violating it), the court denied any extension. The result? Same problems, less than eight hours after expiration. Ironic that the county sheriff was charged (and later pleaded to) with intimidation, but none of his officers seemed interested or capable of taking such a report from a private citizen. When I learned from one officer what I needed to do, I forwarded audio and transcript of one occurrence and my call to law enforcement (before the statute of limitations expired) to the prosecutor's office. I didn't even receive an acknowledgement. Earlier, I'd gone in to the prosecutor's office and been told that the officer's (written) report didn't match what I said occurred. Since I had the audio, I can only say that I have very little faith in Indiana government or law enforcement.

  4. One can only wonder whether Mr. Kimmel was paid for his work by Mr. Burgh ... or whether that bill fell to the citizens of Indiana, many of whom cannot afford attorneys for important matters. It really doesn't take a judge(s) to know that "pavement" can be considered a deadly weapon. It only takes a brain and some education or thought. I'm glad to see the conviction was upheld although sorry to see that the asphalt could even be considered "an issue".

  5. In response to bryanjbrown: thank you for your comment. I am familiar with Paul Ogden (and applaud his assistance to Shirley Justice) and have read of Gary Welsh's (strange) death (and have visited his blog on many occasions). I am not familiar with you (yet). I lived in Kosciusko county, where the sheriff was just removed after pleading in what seems a very "sweetheart" deal. Unfortunately, something NEEDS to change since the attorneys won't (en masse) stand up for ethics (rather making a show to please the "rules" and apparently the judges). I read that many attorneys are underemployed. Seems wisdom would be to cull the herd and get rid of the rotting apples in practice and on the bench, for everyone's sake as well as justice. I'd like to file an attorney complaint, but I have little faith in anything (other than the most flagrant and obvious) resulting in action. My own belief is that if this was medicine, there'd be maimed and injured all over and the carnage caused by "the profession" would be difficult to hide. One can dream ... meanwhile, back to figuring out to file a pro se "motion to dismiss" as well as another court required paper that Indiana is so fond of providing NO resources for (unlike many other states, who don't automatically assume that citizens involved in the court process are scumbags) so that maybe I can get the family law attorney - whose work left me with no settlement, no possessions and resulted in the death of two pets (etc ad nauseum) - to stop abusing the proceedings supplemental and small claims rules and using it as a vehicle for harassment and apparently, amusement.

ADVERTISEMENT