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Cultural background may affect mediation

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Elodie Meuser, an Indianapolis attorney and mediator with The Mediation Option, recalls times when the firm has handled cases involving people from different countries. One case, in particular, resulted in a slightly puzzling outcome.

“I wasn’t personally involved in the mediation – but we had a gentleman who was from Tunisia, and when things seemed to not be going his way, he ended the mediation. Of course that’s what everybody wants when they come to mediation – they want to get their way. But it was a bit unusual that it ended so quickly,” she said.

Mediators say that they must be able to understand cultural differences without making broad generalizations or assumptions.

“As neutrals, we have to make sure that our experiences don’t enter into it,” Meuser said.

Real and perceived differences

We’ve all heard the saying, “As American as apple pie,” but some Americans don’t like apples. Or pie. So to assume that all members of a particular culture share the same values or personality traits would be a fallacy, as attorney and mediator Sam Ardery explained.

Ardery, of the Bloomington firm Bunger & Robertson, said that he does not assume that people from different cultures will necessarily react differently to mediation than anyone else would.

“It doesn’t give them credit for having done their own research about it,” he said.

When Ardery knows that clients come from different cultural backgrounds, he tries to learn about the people before he meets them.

“I do a little more preparation ahead of time and call those people, or call their lawyers and talk to them,” he said.

Some differences are not so much about customs in other cultures, but are more about the value Americans place on certain transactions – like contracts.

“In the United States, we sign a contract, we assume it’s binding. But for some people when they sign a contract, that’s the beginning of the negotiation,” Ardery said.

Doing business at home and abroad
 

lykins-dallin-mug.jpg Lykins

Dallin Lykins, an immigration attorney at Lewis & Kappes in Indianapolis who has mediated family law cases, has experienced how some cultures have a different view of business relationships.

Lykins was a missionary for his church in Costa Rica for two years, and in that time, he observed an approach to business that is considerably different than the contract-driven American business culture.

“It seemed to me that a lot of their issues they took much more personally. Especially in business settings, everyone was viewed as a friend,” he said.

“Almost every aspect of our lives is based on, ‘We have to form a contract first.’ In Costa Rica, I didn’t notice this as much. It was often, ‘This guy’s my friend, and this should be fine,’ and that was very often successful when a dispute came up,” Lykins said.

Much of what Lykins understands about cultural differences he learned through the process of trial-and-error.

He said his tendency to think, “There’s a problem, you resolve it,” wasn’t necessarily what people expected out of him, especially in family disagreements. “They wanted someone to help them handle the emotional aspects of the dispute.”

In cross-cultural mediations, he said, mediators should take the time to learn about how the specific problem parties wish to address – divorce, for example – may carry different weight in another country.

“You have to do your homework and know about that culture and what to expect, but second, listen to them and know what their background is and what they expect,” Lykins said.

The best way to understand a person’s background is to ask, rather than assume, as reflected in the Pew Hispanic Center’s report called, “When Labels Don’t Fit: Hispanics and Their Views of Identity.” The report, released April 4, stated only 29 percent of Latino or Hispanic people agree that they share a common culture, with 69 percent saying that Latinos in the United States have many different cultures.

Language barriers

Meuser’s firm handled a mediation between a Muslim man and his ex-wife, in which one disagreement concerned a word he asked his daughter to use when referring to his new wife, who was also Muslim.

“What this gentleman wanted was to refer to his new wife by a name that wasn’t familiar to everyone, and the biological mother was concerned that the man’s daughter was calling her ‘Mommy,’” Meuser said. “We did research on the Internet while they were here, and we tried to find out what the meaning was of that word, and we found out that word wasn’t ‘mother,’ but that it was a term for a revered adult female.”

The father hadn’t been able to explain the word – at least not to his ex-wife’s satisfaction. But when mediators explained what they found in their online research, she did not object to the term.

Meuser recalled another instance where language presented some challenges for mediators.

“We also had a Japanese woman here who had bank accounts in Japan, and her husband was relying on her to translate, to say what they meant,” she said. The mediators had no way of knowing whether the woman’s translation of the documents was accurate, so the final mediation agreement was drafted to say that if the husband later found out that she had deceived him about the bank accounts, the case would be reopened.

Cultural impact on closure

The American Bar Association’s Section of Dispute Resolution scheduled a continuing legal education program for April 20, to be held at its annual convention. The program description for the CLE, “When Is A Deal A Deal?  The Impact of Culture on Closure and the Durability of Settlement Agreements,” states that in different cultures, people view fairness, truth and durability quite differently. That’s something Ardery heard about recently at a seminar.

“I was just at an ethics seminar in Cincinnati and they had two people there who were general counsel for large multinational organizations and they talked about situations they ran into where they went into certain cultures where gift-giving was part of the culture,” he said. To Americans, gift-giving in business can be seen as bribing.

“So (while) in the United States no one would legally expect to go and give someone in the government a gift – I’m going to buy you a vacation home, and you pass this piece of legislation – there are some places in the world where that is expected,” he said.

Ardery said that despite any differences between cultures, mediators generally must prove their trustworthiness in the same manner, using the “Trust Equation” set forth in the book “The Trusted Advisor,” by David Maister, Charles Green and Robert Galford.

That equation means mediators must demonstrate credibility, reliability and intimacy – or, how secure the client feels – all over a “denominator” of self-interest, meaning the mediator is motivated by the client’s needs.

“In thinking about that, I think it really applies, whether somebody grew up in the Midwest, or somebody grew up halfway around the world,” Ardery said.•
 

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  1. This guy sounds like the classic molester/manipulator.

  2. Louis D. Brandeis was born in 1856. At 9 years of age it would have been 1865. The Brandeis family did not own slaves. My source Louis D. Brandeis: A Life, by Melvin L. Urofsky.

  3. My name is Matthew Lucas Major, I recently went through a jury trial in Bloomington , In. It was the week of Feb 19-21. Although I have been incarcerated since August 5, 2014. The reason I 'am writing to you sir is on the 21 of February the jury came in with a very excessive and wrongful verdict of guilty on 6 child molesting charges against my daughter who was 9 at the time I was accused. I also had 2 other Felonies one of Intimidation and 1 of Sexual Vicarious Gratification. Judge Marc Kellam on the second day of trial gave me a not guilty on those 2 felonies. The jury was sent out during that time and when brought back Judge Kellam told them to not concern themselves with the 2 Felonies that he ruled on them. They were told to not let evidence they had already heard influence there verdicts. I never in my life touched any child sexually and definitely not with my own daughter. When I was arrested Detective Shawn Karr told me I would be convicted guilty just on my daughters word even without evidence. That's just what happened. my public defender did me so wrong he never once proved to the court and jury all the lies the child told, and Jeremy Noel my public defender could of proven the lies easily. The stories in Serenity's depositions and Forensic interview changed and were not consistent as Prosecutor Darcie Fawcett claimed they were. Yet my attorney never mentioned that. The facts that the child accused me of full penetration in her vagina and rectum was proven lies. Doctor Roberta Hibbard of Riley hospital in Indianapolis confirmed Serenity's hymen intact, no scars, no tearing, no signs of rape to her. Yet my attorney didn't use that knowledge . the DNA was all in my favor. I tell you I will spend my entire life in prison going through rape and beatings etc. even Judge Kellam abused his authority by telling the jurors to listen and believe what the prosecutors side in evidence like my daughters testimony. In one interview with the detectives my daughter got flustered with her mom and said on camera " I'm saying what you told me to mom"!! Yet Mr. Noel said nor did anything to even resemble a defense attorney. Judge Kellam allowed edited version of a taped conversation between the child and her mother. Also Judge Kellam allowed the Prosecutor too bring in to my case a knife found under my seat, the knife wasn't part of my case. She was allowed by my attorney and the judge to put a huge picture of it on the screen and huge picture of my naked privates in a full courtroom and open court. Ms. Fawcett says to jury see how easy Mr. Major could reach the knife and cut his Childs throat. Even though I had no weapons charge against these cases. This gave the jurors prejudice thought against me thinking I threatened her with that knife and how scared she would of been knowing i could get it and kill her. On my sentencing court March 19, 2014 my public defender told Judge Kellam he wish to resign from being my attorney and wished for the court to give me outside council to file a error to trial or appeal. We were denied. Now after openly knowing my public defender don't want to represent me he has to. Well when as parents we make our kids clean a room when they really don't wish to, well the child will but don't mean she will do a good job, that's where I'm at with Mr. Noel. please dont ignore mine and my families pleas for your help . we have all the legal proof you could need to prove Im innocent. Please dont make my spend years in prison innocent when you can fix this wrong. Im not saying Im a perfect man or that I was a perfect dad to my 2 children none of us are. Ive made some bad choices in life and I paid for them. But I didnt ever touch or rape my daughter . I love my children with all my heart. And now through needing attention and a ex-wife who told my granny several times she wish she could put me in prison to get me out of their lives. Well my ex finally accomplished her goal. Sad part is she is destroying our daughter with all this horrific lies and things she taught my daughter to say. My daughter will need therapist to ever hope for a chance of a normal life after what she had done to her by her mom and their side of the family. My daughter told everyone even on stand she had a dream months before i supposedly molested her in this dream I was molesting her and when I finally did it matched her dream perfectly. She admitted to watching movies about little girls being molested and watching U-Tube videos about child molesting all before it happened supposedly to her. Doesn't that sound very unusual that a non molested 9 yr old would need to know so much about being molested? The only reason I could think a 9 year old would need so much information is to be prepared to know what to say and be able to say how it felt what took place etc.. So when questioned by authorities she would be prepared. And there again sir if a parent is pre grooming a 9 year old child she would need intimate details . Like telling her daughter about a couple moles on my private area. The child admitted to sneaking my cell and looking many many times at nudes of me and my girlfriend even one where my penis was entering my girlfriends vagina. In that picture my moles are obvious. Yet when prosecutor showed everyone in court my privates and pictures of the moles she said the only way the child would know about them is if she saw them for herself. My attorney once again said nothing about the pictures my child saw. Or could a ex-wife be able to describe my moles to help her case against getting rid of me? I beg you help me. This is my very existence. Ive lost everything , a good job, a wonderful girlfriend, my freedom, but worse thing Ive lost is my children. They were my reason to get up every morning and strive to be better. The wonderful bond I had with my Serenity is gone. After this I would be afraid to even hug her for fear of what next can they do to me. I'm not afraid to tell you I sit here in this cell and try to hold back my tears. Everyone knows you cant show weakness in prison. My life has already been threatened here at Wabash Valley Prison. After only 3 days of arrival. I was tricked into signing a waiver now Im in G Block General Population with 6 child molesting felony charges. Mrs. Hart as a 18 year old I almost died hooked to machines in hospital almost 1 month and now I know that fear was childish compared to this . I cant help but put emotions in this, after all Mrs. Hart Im human and God help Me I never been more afraid in my life. I didnt hurt my little girl I didnt touch her sexually. As much as it shreds me and fills my mind what Im facing I worry more about my mom and granny because of their great love for me mam they are suffering so deeply. I aint done this things but my loved ones suffering right along beside me and If you take my case you will be in essence freeing them also. I sent momma this letter and asked her to email it to you. I'm scared I have been done so unjustly by our legal system and I need you to fix this and give me freedom. I ask you please don't just ignore my pleas. Here in America its nice to be able to trust our legal justice system, well they destroyed my and my loved ones trust in our justice system . And I'm trusting in You !!! My entire family is suffering this nightmare with me. My 77 year old granny had a stroke and isn't doing so well. My single mother that raised 3 kids alone is dying from Lupus and since my arrest has stayed so sick and weary. Our lives torn to peices by a government I was taught I could trust in. my momma has tried so many innocent project and wrongfully accused and cant get anywhere. please please help me. A quote from the late Nelson Mandela: To be free is not merely to cast off ones chains, But to live in a way that respects and enhances The Freedom Of Others. I have Faith in you and your clinic to cast my chains off and give me freedom I do deserve as a wrongfully accused Man, son, brother, father, friend. Matthew Major DOC# 246179 Cause # : 53c02-1308-FA-000779 God Bless you. Please contact me with your decision so I know you made a life changing decision for me , just please at least write me so I know you care enough about your citizens to respond to cries for your help. You can speak openly with my mother Charlotte Spain (828) 476-0406: 71 Lakeview Dr. Canton, NC 28716 Thank You Matthew Major I know yall get thousands of request and inmates claiming innocence, and each person who are innocent deserve to have organizations like yours willing to fight for them and I give yall so much Thanks and I thank God everyday yall are out there caring enough to help free the innocents. Since discovering firsthand how easily lives and families can be destroyed by Poor Defense attorneys not doing their job . And Prosecutors allowed to do as they please in court

  4. Frankly, it is tragic that you are even considering going to an expensive, unaccredited "law school." It is extremely difficult to get a job with a degree from a real school. If you are going to make the investment of time, money, and tears into law school, it should not be to a place that won't actually enable you to practice law when you graduate.

  5. As a lawyer who grew up in Fort Wayne (but went to a real law school), it is not that hard to find a mentor in the legal community without your school's assistance. One does not need to pay tens of thousands of dollars to go to an unaccredited legal diploma mill to get a mentor. Having a mentor means precisely nothing if you cannot get a job upon graduation, and considering that the legal job market is utterly terrible, these students from Indiana Tech are going to be adrift after graduation.

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