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Hammerle on 'Jack the Giant Slayer,' 'Identity Thief'

Robert Hammerle
March 13, 2013
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bob hammerle movie reviewsJack the Giant Slayer

Say what you want about 14-year-old boys, but they reach their maximum potential when they function as an unashamed movie companion for films like “Jack the Giant Slayer.” Again, I am speaking of my grandson, Connor, who shares my enthusiasm for mythological action films.

The irony is that while we truly liked “Jack the Giant Slayer” and this year’s “Warm Bodies,” both starred Nicholas Hoult. In “Warm Bodies,” he was a struggling zombie falling madly in love with a human girl, and here he is a poor farm boy attracted to a young princess. Dead man walking or a lad who tills the soil, the kid knows how to get ahead in life.

While “Jack the Giant Slayer” tells the story that we all know, it does so with some splendid acting and superior special effects. Some nasty giants live in the world between Earth and heaven, and a young princess, played effectively by Eleanor Tomlinson, finds herself whisked into their world by an uncaring beanstalk. Jack joins a group of soldiers from the realm to climb the stalk to rescue her, and the ensuing adventure becomes far more exciting than critics dare acknowledge.

ratingjack.gif The film is enormously helped by performances from Ian McShane, Stanley Tucci and Ewan McGregor. In his small role as the kind king, you are left hoping that Mr. McShane could express his agony over his missing daughter in the extraordinarily foul language of his memorable character in TV’s “Deadwood” (2006-2009). God I miss Al Swearengen.

Mr. Tucci appears here as the selected betrothed of the horrified young princess, though he has an idiotic plan to put power ahead of sex with the help of the gnarly giants. Mr. Tucci is a stitch as the gap-toothed villain, and he again demonstrates his wide acting range as recently seen in last year’s “The Hunger Games.”

Mr. McGregor is always sensational, and he serves as the king’s emissary with both cunning and a delightful twinkle in his eye. Regardless, if you’re not up to seeing this film, hunt him down in “Beginners” (2010), “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen” (2011) and last year’s “The Impossible.”

The giants are a collection of truly ugly monsters, led by the great Bill Nighy. Playing General Fallon, he is cursed with two heads and an attitude that Satan himself would admire. Though the character is profoundly hateful, you can’t help but love Mr. Nighy when you recall his last role as the suffering husband in last year’s spectacular “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.”

Finally, what shouldn’t be missed is the desire of the princess to seek adventure, as she simply believed that it would allow her to run her kingdom with an eye to improving the lives of her subjects. Maybe our national politicians who defend the sequester should get out of Washington and hunt a little adventure of their own.

Who knows, maybe they could dedicate themselves to leading in a way that helps their subjects, today known as citizens.

Identity Thief

“Identity Thief” is a flamboyantly absurd film that treats idiocy like a human strength. It contains absurd sequences involving car chases, hit men/women and a killer bail bondsman. There are sporadic moments where you can do little more than simply shake your head.

On the other hand, as profoundly foolish as this film is, it is at times embarrassingly entertaining. Without question this is entirely due to the endearing talents of both Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy. He is as warm and vulnerable as she is venal, asocial and maliciously funny, and the two form an unlikely team that finds a way to entertain you.

Mr. Bateman plays Sandy Patterson, a businessman in Denver fighting to support his pregnant wife and their two children. As he gambles on a new job with other disgruntled employees, he learns that he has been victimized through identify theft by some unknown scalawag in Florida. He finds himself massively in debt, not to mention named in an arrest warrant for failing to appear in court.

For unexplainable reasons, the police, his wife (played with little energy by Amanda Peet), and his business associates allow him to travel alone to Florida to return with his nemesis. In the process, he links up with his target, a mean-spirited Ms. McCarthy. Overcoming her best punch, a vicious jab to the throat, she is e

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ventually forced to accompany him on his journey to Colorado.

What makes “Identity Thief” rise above its profound weaknesses is the gradual bond formed by Mr. Bateman and Ms. McCarthy. The film is further helped with a screamingly funny performance by Eric Stonestreet from TV’s “Modern Family.” Let me just say that it involves Ms. McCarthy’s drunken seduction of him in a cheap motel room while describing Mr. Bateman at length as a woefully impotent husband who only wants to watch.

Ms. McCarthy again proves that she is a diamond in the cinematic rough. Her performance in “Bridesmaids” (2011) remains a memorable classic, and her wildly hysterical performance in a small role in “This Is 40” (2012) was the only thing that made that film watchable.

Recently, a well-known national film critic came under deserved criticism for referring to her as a “hippo.” His words were condemnable, as both Ms. McCarthy and Rebel Wilson (think of her as Fat Amy in “Pitch Perfect”) breathe life into the definition of feminism by any standard.

Consider the way women are seen today as both newscasters and weather forecasters on TV. From ESPN to Katie Couric, nearly all of the women you see on the screen either involve full body shots or with them sitting in chairs wearing short skirts, their legs crossed and wearing very high heels. Could the men behind most of television programming be doing little more than selling women on their physical allure? Surely not!

Regardless, I would love to see Ms. McCarthy and Fat Amy in that role.•

__________

Robert Hammerle practices criminal law in Indianapolis. When he is not in the courtroom or working diligently in his Pennsylvania Street office, Bob can likely be found at one of his favorite movie theaters watching and preparing to review the latest films. To read more of his reviews, visit www.bigmouthbobs.com. The opinions expressed are those of the author.
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  1. He called our nation a nation of cowards because we didn't want to talk about race. That was a cheap shot coming from the top cop. The man who decides who gets the federal government indicts. Wow. Not a gentleman if that is the measure. More importantly, this insult delivered as we all understand, to white people-- without him or anybody needing to explain that is precisely what he meant-- but this is an insult to timid white persons who fear the government and don't want to say anything about race for fear of being accused a racist. With all the legal heat that can come down on somebody if they say something which can be construed by a prosecutor like Mr Holder as racist, is it any wonder white people-- that's who he meant obviously-- is there any surprise that white people don't want to talk about race? And as lawyers we have even less freedom lest our remarks be considered violations of the rules. Mr Holder also demonstrated his bias by publically visiting with the family of the young man who was killed by a police offering in the line of duty, which was a very strong indicator of bias agains the offer who is under investigation, and was a failure to lead properly by letting his investigators do their job without him predetermining the proper outcome. He also has potentially biased the jury pool. All in all this worsens race relations by feeding into the perception shared by whites as well as blacks that justice will not be impartial. I will say this much, I do not blame Obama for all of HOlder's missteps. Obama has done a lot of things to stay above the fray and try and be a leader for all Americans. Maybe he should have reigned Holder in some but Obama's got his hands full with other problelms. Oh did I mention HOlder is a bank crony who will probably get a job in a silkstocking law firm working for millions of bucks a year defending bankers whom he didn't have the integrity or courage to hold to account for their acts of fraud on the United States, other financial institutions, and the people. His tenure will be regarded by history as a failure of leadership at one of the most important jobs in our nation. Finally and most importantly besides him insulting the public and letting off the big financial cheats, he has been at the forefront of over-prosecuting the secrecy laws to punish whistleblowers and chill free speech. What has Holder done to vindicate the rights of privacy of the American public against the illegal snooping of the NSA? He could have charged NSA personnel with violations of law for their warrantless wiretapping which has been done millions of times and instead he did not persecute a single soul. That is a defalcation of historical proportions and it signals to the public that the government DOJ under him was not willing to do a damn thing to protect the public against the rapid growth of the illegal surveillance state. Who else could have done this? Nobody. And for that omission Obama deserves the blame too. Here were are sliding into a police state and Eric Holder made it go all the faster.

  2. JOE CLAYPOOL candidate for Superior Court in Harrison County - Indiana This candidate is misleading voters to think he is a Judge by putting Elect Judge Joe Claypool on his campaign literature. paragraphs 2 and 9 below clearly indicate this injustice to voting public to gain employment. What can we do? Indiana Code - Section 35-43-5-3: Deception (a) A person who: (1) being an officer, manager, or other person participating in the direction of a credit institution, knowingly or intentionally receives or permits the receipt of a deposit or other investment, knowing that the institution is insolvent; (2) knowingly or intentionally makes a false or misleading written statement with intent to obtain property, employment, or an educational opportunity; (3) misapplies entrusted property, property of a governmental entity, or property of a credit institution in a manner that the person knows is unlawful or that the person knows involves substantial risk of loss or detriment to either the owner of the property or to a person for whose benefit the property was entrusted; (4) knowingly or intentionally, in the regular course of business, either: (A) uses or possesses for use a false weight or measure or other device for falsely determining or recording the quality or quantity of any commodity; or (B) sells, offers, or displays for sale or delivers less than the represented quality or quantity of any commodity; (5) with intent to defraud another person furnishing electricity, gas, water, telecommunication, or any other utility service, avoids a lawful charge for that service by scheme or device or by tampering with facilities or equipment of the person furnishing the service; (6) with intent to defraud, misrepresents the identity of the person or another person or the identity or quality of property; (7) with intent to defraud an owner of a coin machine, deposits a slug in that machine; (8) with intent to enable the person or another person to deposit a slug in a coin machine, makes, possesses, or disposes of a slug; (9) disseminates to the public an advertisement that the person knows is false, misleading, or deceptive, with intent to promote the purchase or sale of property or the acceptance of employment;

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  4. I grew up on a farm and live in the county and it's interesting that the big industrial farmers like Jeff Shoaf don't live next to their industrial operations...

  5. So that none are misinformed by my posting wihtout a non de plume here, please allow me to state that I am NOT an Indiana licensed attorney, although I am an Indiana resident approved to practice law and represent clients in Indiana's fed court of Nth Dist and before the 7th circuit. I remain licensed in KS, since 1996, no discipline. This must be clarified since the IN court records will reveal that I did sit for and pass the Indiana bar last February. Yet be not confused by the fact that I was so allowed to be tested .... I am not, to be clear in the service of my duty to be absolutely candid about this, I AM NOT a member of the Indiana bar, and might never be so licensed given my unrepented from errors of thought documented in this opinion, at fn2, which likely supports Mr Smith's initial post in this thread: http://caselaw.findlaw.com/us-7th-circuit/1592921.html

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