ILNews

Hebenstreit: FIGHT ON!

Back to TopCommentsE-mailPrintBookmark and Share

IBA-hebenstreitLess than 24 hours ago, I knew exactly what my topic for this column was going to be. I was going to talk about the insights I have learned working with the many talented members of the IndyBar this year. Now, as you read this you may wonder what this column has to do with the IndyBar. Well, when I signed on to do this job, I was told I could write about anything I wanted, so that is what I decided to do this time.

For about 5 years when I was in law school and after, two other friends and I drove to Hamburg, New York (near Buffalo) to snow ski. A mutual friend was from there, and his parents still lived in Hamburg. That gave us exactly what we needed — a place to stay that was my favorite price — free. Without their hospitality, we Hoosiers would not have been able to afford skiing. Pete and Mollie were just great folks. Both had white hair, were very Catholic, and were obviously very close. They lived in a New England clapboard house that was always covered in snow. Each year, they turned themselves inside out to make us feel at home. We thought we had hit the jackpot and wondered why they put up with us. Now that I have grown children, I know that they enjoyed it as much, or more, than we did. A great deal for all concerned.

Last night I recognized the Hamburg return address on a Christmas card and opened it. For some reason, after 33 years, I still remember their street address. The card was from Pete. That’s right, not Pete and Mollie. I knew that Mollie had passed away earlier this year. We had shared Christmas cards with each other every year, but the notes we received in prior years were always in Mollie’s handwriting. This year, Pete was writing to let their friends know of Mollie’s passing. Reading the card was emotional.

Everyone has a different way of celebrating/dreading the holiday season. We will be fortunate enough to have the entire family home. Being able to spend time with grown children is priceless. It will be fantastic to have them around even for just a few days. My Dad celebrates his 87th birthday on Christmas Day, and all will be around to help him celebrate it. His knees are getting a little unreliable and his hearing is shot. He spends most of his days taking care of my Mother, but that is his mission in life at this point. He doesn’t seem to mind. Robyn’s parents will also be around. Both are OK, but the years take their toll. What a strange reward for a life well lived!

I have handled enough family law cases to know how stressful the holiday season can be. Many families are not close, and the required interaction at the holiday season is probably unbearable. We have several friends who have lost parents, siblings and even children this past year. It must be horrible to watch the calendar creep closer to the holidays and wonder how empty the feeling will be. Hopefully all will find their own peace.

But I do not want to end on a sad or somber note. Pete’s handwritten note under the standard typed letter read “Mollie sure loved your ‘ski trip’ visits. So did I.” And we thought we were getting the better part of that deal! He also wrote “I plan to stay here on Highland Ave. The neighbors are great, the yard work is good for my health…and I know where everything is supposed to be.” What an attitude! He had cared for her through a 5-year battle with Alzheimer’s. Many would think their life was over after losing their best friend of 60 years, but not Pete. I hope I have that spirit when the chips are down. It is a good lesson for me, and I hope for you also. Fight on!

I hope you all have a very Happy Holiday season.•

ADVERTISEMENT

Post a comment to this story

COMMENTS POLICY
We reserve the right to remove any post that we feel is obscene, profane, vulgar, racist, sexually explicit, abusive, or hateful.
 
You are legally responsible for what you post and your anonymity is not guaranteed.
 
Posts that insult, defame, threaten, harass or abuse other readers or people mentioned in Indiana Lawyer editorial content are also subject to removal. Please respect the privacy of individuals and refrain from posting personal information.
 
No solicitations, spamming or advertisements are allowed. Readers may post links to other informational websites that are relevant to the topic at hand, but please do not link to objectionable material.
 
We may remove messages that are unrelated to the topic, encourage illegal activity, use all capital letters or are unreadable.
 

Messages that are flagged by readers as objectionable will be reviewed and may or may not be removed. Please do not flag a post simply because you disagree with it.

Sponsored by

facebook - twitter on Facebook & Twitter

Indiana State Bar Association

Indianapolis Bar Association

Evansville Bar Association

Allen County Bar Association

Indiana Lawyer on Facebook

facebook
ADVERTISEMENT
Subscribe to Indiana Lawyer
  1. Family court judges never fail to surprise me with their irrational thinking. First of all any man who abuses his wife is not fit to be a parent. A man who can't control his anger should not be allowed around his child unsupervised period. Just because he's never been convicted of abusing his child doesn't mean he won't and maybe he hasn't but a man that has such poor judgement and control is not fit to parent without oversight - only a moron would think otherwise. Secondly, why should the mother have to pay? He's the one who made the poor decisions to abuse and he should be the one to pay the price - monetarily and otherwise. Yes it's sad that the little girl may be deprived of her father, but really what kind of father is he - the one that abuses her mother the one that can't even step up and do what's necessary on his own instead the abused mother is to pay for him???? What is this Judge thinking? Another example of how this world rewards bad behavior and punishes those who do right. Way to go Judge - NOT.

  2. Right on. Legalize it. We can take billions away from the drug cartels and help reduce violence in central America and more unwanted illegal immigration all in one fell swoop. cut taxes on the savings from needless incarcerations. On and stop eroding our fourth amendment freedom or whatever's left of it.

  3. "...a switch from crop production to hog production "does not constitute a significant change."??? REALLY?!?! Any judge that cannot see a significant difference between a plant and an animal needs to find another line of work.

  4. Why do so many lawyers get away with lying in court, Jamie Yoak?

  5. Future generations will be amazed that we prosecuted people for possessing a harmless plant. The New York Times came out in favor of legalization in Saturday's edition of the newspaper.

ADVERTISEMENT