ILNews

IBA: 'Shut Up Already' and Four Other Top Tips for a Successful Family Law Mediation

Back to TopCommentsE-mailPrintBookmark and Share
wanzer-holly-BWmug Wanzer
edwards-elisabeth-BWmug Edwards

By Elisabeth Edwards and Holly Wanzer of Jocham Harden Dimick Jackson LLP

Have you gone a little light on mediation preparation lately? It’s time to jump start your mediation mojo with some tips about how to get in, get settled and get out of the way.

Know your own case. This is sure to elicit a giant “No Kidding”, but it is amazing how many attorneys waltz into mediation with only a vague idea of the case. Mediators love, love, love the attorneys who take mediation as seriously as trial. They know every issue and their client’s position on each. They can articulate best and worst case scenarios, so they see the “middle ground” where settlement will likely occur. They know what their client’s hot-button issues are so they are not wasting time arguing over Aunt Mary’s World’s Fair spoon collection when their client just wants the blender. Be as ready to present the marital estate and child support calculations in mediation as you would be in court. (P.S. The prepared have fewer ten-hour marathons and more “it’s only 4:00 p.m. and we’re done…” days).

Prepare your mediator with the right information. The mediator has the pleasure of facing that sticky, icky issue in your case that is preventing it from settling. In order to settle, you are going to have to talk about it and all its ugliness. You do your client a giant favor by ’fessing up before mediation. Is it infidelity, gambling debts, passive-aggressive, narcissistic, overly emotional parties? Spill it. Please. (Even if the problem is your client). Hours of mediation can be saved if you craft a useful Confidential Mediation Statement instead of a 20-page dissertation of the relevant case law. The mediator does not need to read a treatise, but would appreciate the information which impacts how he will present information in each room. What is more beneficial is a list of the pending issues, including your client’s starting place and bottom line, and an explanation of the dynamics of the case. If you know that your client needs some “tough love” as to what is reasonable, or that one party will be extremely emotional, tell the mediator. Finally, is there a pending offer? Articulate it in your statement. You’ve just jumpstarted the mediation.

Prepare your client. Talk with your client prior to mediation to let her know the best and worst case scenarios if she goes to court. Explain that at mediation she will get neither. Mediation is compromise, and the client will need to do some horse-trading to end up with an agreement. Your client also needs to understand while it’s possible she will go to court and get her “best day”, there is tremendous value to ending the risk that she will get her “worst day”. Not to mention that a big win in court can result in a Notice of Appeal and the start of an expensive Round 2 in the appellate court.

Don’t draw a giant, grandstanding line in the sand. Nothing is more frustrating than the attorney who refuses to make counteroffers (“we stand on our last offer even though we’ve only been here two hours”). Mediation is not Theatre of the Law for your client’s entertainment. It is a serious attempt to find a solution. Saying no without suggesting another option or storming out prematurely in protest is a waste of your client’s time and money. If you don’t even give it a go, you may never know that the other side was just posturing and was prepared to meet your terms. There is a time to inform the mediator that your client is making a “final offer”, but that time is rarely 10:30 a.m.

Shut up already! Your job is more advisor than mouthpiece. Kindly shut up and let the client talk. Chip in your advice when needed, but don’t take over. The mediator will need your help with reality testing. While your mediator cannot opine as to what Judge So-and-So would do, the mediator can ask YOU to opine. Also, please remember who the boss is (and it ain’t you). There are a million reasons that have nothing to do with legal precedent that might make your client inclined to settle a case about his kids and his stuff. Even if you think a better outcome is possible at trial, the decision is your client’s. Advise the client if you don’t recommend the deal; then get out of the way and draft a CYA letter when you return to the office.•

ADVERTISEMENT

Post a comment to this story

COMMENTS POLICY
We reserve the right to remove any post that we feel is obscene, profane, vulgar, racist, sexually explicit, abusive, or hateful.
 
You are legally responsible for what you post and your anonymity is not guaranteed.
 
Posts that insult, defame, threaten, harass or abuse other readers or people mentioned in Indiana Lawyer editorial content are also subject to removal. Please respect the privacy of individuals and refrain from posting personal information.
 
No solicitations, spamming or advertisements are allowed. Readers may post links to other informational websites that are relevant to the topic at hand, but please do not link to objectionable material.
 
We may remove messages that are unrelated to the topic, encourage illegal activity, use all capital letters or are unreadable.
 

Messages that are flagged by readers as objectionable will be reviewed and may or may not be removed. Please do not flag a post simply because you disagree with it.

Sponsored by
ADVERTISEMENT
Subscribe to Indiana Lawyer
  1. Hysteria? Really Ben? Tell the young lady reported on in the link below that worrying about the sexualizing of our children is mere hysteria. Such thinking is common in the Royal Order of Jesters and other running sex vacays in Thailand or Brazil ... like Indy's Jared Fogle. Those tempted to call such concerns mere histronics need to think on this: http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-12-year-old-girl-live-streamed-her-suicide-it-took-two-weeks-for-facebook-to-take-the-video-down/ar-AAlT8ka?li=AA4ZnC&ocid=spartanntp

  2. Hi I am Mr Damian Parker the creditor of Private loans, and I'm here to make your dreams come true to get a loan. Do you need a loan urgently? Do you need a loan to pay off your debts? Do you need a loan for expansion of your business or start your own business, we are here for you with a low interest rate of 3% and you can get a credit of 1,000 to 100,000,000.00 the maximum loan amount and up to 20 years loan duration. Contact us today for more information at dparkerservices@hotmail.com

  3. This is happening so much. Even in 2016.2017. I hope the father sue for civil rights violation. I hope he sue as more are doing and even without a lawyer as pro-se, he got a good one here. God bless him.

  4. JLAP and other courtiers ... Those running court systems, have most substance abuse issues. Probably self medicating to cover conscience issues arising out of acts furthering govt corruption

  5. I whole-heartedly agree with Doug Church's comment, above. Indiana lawyers were especially fortunate to benefit from Tom Pyrz' leadership and foresight at a time when there has been unprecedented change in the legal profession. Consider how dramatically computer technology and its role in the practice of law have changed over the last 25 years. The impact of the great recession of 2008 dramatically changed the composition and structure of law firms across the country. Economic pressures altered what had long been a routine, robust annual recruitment process for law students and recent law school graduates. That has, in turn, impacted law school enrollment across the country, placing upward pressure on law school tuition. The internet continues to drive significant changes in the provision of legal services in both public and private sectors. The ISBA has worked to make quality legal representation accessible and affordable for all who need it and to raise general public understanding of Indiana laws and procedures. How difficult it would have been to tackle each of these issues without Tom's leadership. Tom has set the tone for positive change at the ISBA to meet the evolving practice needs of lawyers of all backgrounds and ages. He has led the organization with vision, patience, flexibility, commitment, thoughtfulness & even humor. He will, indeed, be a tough act to follow. Thank you, Tom, for all you've done and all the energy you've invested in making the ISBA an excellent, progressive, highly responsive, all-inclusive, respectful & respected professional association during his tenure there.

ADVERTISEMENT