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Living Fit: Create a better work-life balance

Sharon McGoff
April 9, 2014
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wellness-mcgoff-sharonWhen you hear the word “balance,” what do you think of? I think of stability, control, equality and calmness. Do any of these words describe your life? What about words like scattered, chaotic, volatile, hectic and frenzied? Most of us fall into the latter descriptive as it relates to the balance between our home, social and work lives. We juggle too many roles and obligations. We add more to our plates without contemplating whether we have room. We become exhausted and stressed. Does this sound like you?

One of the main questions I am asked as a wellness coach is, “How do I find balance in my life between work and home?” Balance requires a little soul searching on your part. What is balance in your life may not be balance in my life. Also, keep in mind that balance changes as your situation changes (new job, new relationship, kids, house, etc). For example, as a 20-something, my balance equation involved studying, going to work and being with friends. I didn’t have a house to take care of or a significant other. That changed in my late 20s when I graduated from law school, got married and bought a house, all within a span of three months. Talk about disrupting the apple cart! Where was I going to find time to be with friends and family and to enjoy my new-found hobby of running? It took a bit of reflection and some trial and error, but I readjusted and righted the scales to once again find balance.

A few years passed and in my late 30s, our son was born. The scales toppled again! No longer did I have the ability to pick up and go when and where I wanted. My husband and I had to figure out the logistics of childcare, working late and free time. Tension ensued, but reflection, compromise and balance was once again restored. This little baby somehow became a very involved teenager, and so now, in my early 50s, I find myself yet again readjusting and rebalancing my life. My interests, friends, activities and obligations have changed throughout the years, but with each major change, I have gone back to the beginning and re-evaluated where I am and what means the most to me in order to live in balance and not in chaos.

I hope the following ideas will help you find balance in your life.

1. Track time spent at work, home and socially. Is it evenly proportioned? What satisfies/dissatisfies you the most? What’s necessary? What’s important to you? In order to free up time and balance your life, do one of the following:

• Ask for help and accept it (e.g., If you hate cleaning house, ask the kids to do it.);

• Delegate and be OK with it not being done your way (No one cleans like you.);

• Omit the obligation from your life entirely (Hire a housekeeper.);

• Create a team approach and work together (The entire family cleans the house.).

2. Set limits, learn to say no and let go of guilt. Decide what your limits are and what you can comfortably agree to do. Limits define the extent of your responsibilities and show others what you are willing to accept. Additionally, when you have the option to say “yes” or “no,” (e.g., a volunteer opportunity or to serve on a board), do you automatically say “yes” and regret it later? Instead of immediately responding, tell the person you’ll think about it. Then determine whether you have time to do it with a grateful heart. For the times when you do say “no,” let go of the guilt because you’re giving someone else the opportunity to say “yes.”

3. Leave work at work and home at home. With the technology to connect to anyone at anytime from anywhere, there is no boundary between work and home unless you create it. Make a conscious decision to separate work time from personal time. When you’re with your family/friends, turn off your phone/computer and give them your full attention. I know this is hard to do, but trust me. Quality and focused time with your family and friends goes a long way to create personal relationships that are instrumental to your professional success. When you’re at work, leave family issues at home.

4. Manage your time. At home, organize tasks efficiently, such as doing a load of laundry every day rather than saving it all for a day off. Keep a family calendar centrally located to post everyone’s activities (work and personal), which will help limit time-consuming misunderstandings via clear communication. At work, set priorities, work smarter not harder, and delegate (and really let go!). Delegation at work gives others opportunities and the chance to grow.

5. Create time for yourself. Being a good employee, parent, partner and friend means being good to yourself first. Eat healthy, include physical activity in your daily routine and get enough sleep. Set aside time each day for an activity you enjoy. Taking care of yourself will benefit you and everyone around you.

6. Flexibility. Let go of the need to have everything done a certain way. Perfectionism is not a human trait and you cannot do it all! I know, you’re a lawyer and Type A is written all over you, but take a deep breath, and then strive for an A- or B+. Understand that with work, children and life, things change at a moment’s notice. Always have a Plan “B” and be OK with that.

7. Discuss expectations and responsibilities. When one family member is taking on too many responsibilities, or one co-worker is doing it all at work, resentments can build. The importance of communication cannot be understated. Periodically discuss the perceptions of others to provide the awareness you need to consider choices for work and family balance.

8. Know when to seek professional help. Everyone needs help from time to time. If your life feels too chaotic to manage, talk with a professional, such as a wellness life coach or counselor.•

__________

Sharon McGoff is a graduate of Indiana University Maurer School of Law, a certified personal trainer and health fitness specialist with the American College of Sports Medicine, and a certified life and wellness coach with WellCoaches Inc. The opinions expressed are those of the author.

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  1. Indiana's seatbelt law is not punishable as a crime. It is an infraction. Apparently some of our Circuit judges have deemed settled law inapplicable if it fails to fit their litmus test of political correctness. Extrapolating to redefine terms of behavior in a violation of immigration law to the entire body of criminal law leaves a smorgasbord of opportunity for judicial mischief.

  2. I wonder if $10 diversions for failure to wear seat belts are considered moral turpitude in federal immigration law like they are under Indiana law? Anyone know?

  3. What a fine article, thank you! I can testify firsthand and by detailed legal reports (at end of this note) as to the dire consequences of rejecting this truth from the fine article above: "The inclusion and expansion of this right [to jury] in Indiana’s Constitution is a clear reflection of our state’s intention to emphasize the importance of every Hoosier’s right to make their case in front of a jury of their peers." Over $20? Every Hoosier? Well then how about when your very vocation is on the line? How about instead of a jury of peers, one faces a bevy of political appointees, mini-czars, who care less about due process of the law than the real czars did? Instead of trial by jury, trial by ideological ordeal run by Orwellian agents? Well that is built into more than a few administrative law committees of the Ind S.Ct., and it is now being weaponized, as is revealed in articles posted at this ezine, to root out post moderns heresies like refusal to stand and pledge allegiance to all things politically correct. My career was burned at the stake for not so saluting, but I think I was just one of the early logs. Due, at least in part, to the removal of the jury from bar admission and bar discipline cases, many more fires will soon be lit. Perhaps one awaits you, dear heretic? Oh, at that Ind. article 12 plank about a remedy at law for every damage done ... ah, well, the founders evidently meant only for those damages done not by the government itself, rabid statists that they were. (Yes, that was sarcasm.) My written reports available here: Denied petition for cert (this time around): http://tinyurl.com/zdmawmw Denied petition for cert (from the 2009 denial and five year banishment): http://tinyurl.com/zcypybh Related, not written by me: Amicus brief: http://tinyurl.com/hvh7qgp

  4. Justice has finally been served. So glad that Dr. Ley can finally sleep peacefully at night knowing the truth has finally come to the surface.

  5. While this right is guaranteed by our Constitution, it has in recent years been hampered by insurance companies, i.e.; the practice of the plaintiff's own insurance company intervening in an action and filing a lien against any proceeds paid to their insured. In essence, causing an additional financial hurdle for a plaintiff to overcome at trial in terms of overall award. In a very real sense an injured party in exercise of their right to trial by jury may be the only party in a cause that would end up with zero compensation.

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