ILNews

Mediation space key to resolution, even if it’s a getaway divorce

Dave Stafford
April 24, 2013
Keywords
Back to TopCommentsE-mailPrintBookmark and Share
Indiana Lawyer Focus

Just because a dispute might be ugly, it doesn’t mean the surroundings have to be.

Mediators have long known that a serene, comfortable setting can be conducive to helping parties resolve their differences, but a Fort Wayne firm has taken the concept farther – thousands of miles farther.

Tracey L. Rosswurm and partner Christopher L. LaPan a few months ago founded Destination Divorces of Indiana LLC. The venture’s name says it all: Parting couples choose an exotic location where they travel with a mediator to call the marriage off.

il-mary-hoeller02-15col.jpg Indianapolis mediator Mary Hoeller stands beside a chimney swift tower installed recently behind her home. Attracting a wide variety of birds, she hopes the setting may someday lend itself to providing a welcoming space for mediation. (IL Photo/ Perry Reichanadter)

Rosswurm said the idea arose from a client in a divorce case who believed the familiar surroundings in Fort Wayne seemed to be blocking a resolution and suggested escaping to the Bahamas. “It got us to thinking,” Rosswurm said. “It’s kind of an uplifting and unconventional way of getting a divorce done.”

Recently, Destination Divorces settled its maiden mediation in Scottsdale, Ariz.

“We booked it for three days – Friday, Saturday and Sunday – and got it done on the first day,” Rosswurm said. “The rest of the time was spent sightseeing.”

Couples who choose Destination Divorces are in control of the process from the start because they’re choosing where they want to go, booking the trip themselves and paying for their own travel. Rosswurm said the firm doesn’t charge clients for attorney travel or expenses, instead writing them off as business expenses.

The divorcing parties have a vested interest in resolution. After all, they’re on vacation after they resolve their issues. “They each understand what they’re getting into and what’s going to happen,” Rosswurm said, noting both have agreed in advance to arbitration if the mediation reaches impasse. “They’re both in the driver’s seat. They’re both determining the outcome.”

Rosswurm believes the concept can’t help but lead people to resolution. “When you’re talking about walking over to the Metro Building here downtown versus sitting on the beach or in a clubhouse with palm trees all around, it lightens the mood.

“It could only be helpful, I think, if they’re in a place where they want to be.”

Serene settings

Not everyone will opt for a desert oasis or calm blue ocean for mediation, but many practitioners go the extra mile to remove the trappings of law offices, opting instead to establish a comfortable and serene getaway.

Elodie Ann Meuser, Lori Anne Perryman and Carol Terzo had worked together on family and juvenile matters for more than a decade in the Marion County Prosecutor’s Office before they formed The Mediation Option on Indianapolis’ far north side a little more than two years ago.

Starting from scratch, they knew what they wanted: space with windows and natural light, comfy furnishings and soft colors. “The three of us, we’ve looked at what felt like hundreds of office spaces before we found what we wanted,” Meuser said.

“We were planning this a good six months to a year before we opened the firm,” said Meuser, who heads the Indianapolis Bar Association’s Alternative Dispute Resolution Section. “We did a lot of research into the colors we wanted to use, and the comfort and the setting. We didn’t want to have any office furniture.” The partners tried out furniture before making selections.

“We kind of thought about the furniture we’d like to have in our living room. People are in here six, eight, 10 hours sometimes,” she said. Overstuffed pillows allow clients to take out their frustration with a harmless punch or to hold on tight to something. It’s all helpful, Meuser said. “It’s good for them to get that out.”

Zionsville mediator Patrick Brown is the immediate past chair of the Indiana State Bar Association’s ADR Section. He sometimes breaks out the essential oils to help parties come together. “It literally calms the brain,” he said of the aromas he uses.

“From my perspective, the setting you start with is the image you project,” Brown said. “It’s not legal work, it’s mediation. It’s not about the big things, it’s about the little things,” including smells, sounds, textures, colors, temperatures and so on. Brown even excludes fluorescent lighting because some people are sensitive to it.

“When people come through that door, they’re pretty highly charged emotionally,” he said. “They’re very fearful … they have no idea what to expect.

“A big part of what I do is help people get back on top of that emotional roller coaster they’re riding.”

Brown said his clients have an interest in pursuing an ongoing relationship post-mediation, whether they are families or people with business associations. That’s why he said there are no tables in his office, because they represent separation. That also may be why there’s a lawyer doll with Velcro arms and legs that people can rip apart if the mood strikes.

Brown, who holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology, said that in his experience, the adversarial legal process doesn’t benefit people who seek an ongoing relationship. “As an outcome of that focus, I began to look at how does the brain function in disputes?” he said. “The biggest thing is adrenaline. How do you act in a way to create a circumstance to counteract the adrenaline … and give people the freedom to be rational?”

Mobile mediation

Indianapolis mediator Mary Hoeller takes her dispute resolution services where parties agree to meet, and she said she believes that first step of getting parties in an agreeable location sets the stage for success.

“They want to get it done, too, and it’s a nice incentive for them to think about where they would feel comfortable,” she said.

The location may be a law office, a home or some other site. She once met with nine children in a family matter in one of their homes. With siblings visiting from a number of locations, ADR in a familiar setting helped put everyone at ease.

“Going to someone’s house is a pretty intimate thing, so already you build a level of trust,” said Hoeller, a registered nurse, attorney and mediator.

If she is in an office setting, Hoeller tries to situate people so they are facing each other. She, too, tries to make sure tables aren’t in the way.

Meanwhile, Hoeller is working on developing a getaway at her northwest-side home that she hopes will be attractive for people who want to resolve their differences.

In her backyard, she’s creating something of a bird sanctuary. House finches, woodpeckers, mourning doves and grosbeaks are already among the menagerie, and she’s hoping to lure some chimney swifts on return from their winter migration to Peru.

She hopes the setting will become a natural and inviting spot for mediation. “I think that would be really cool,” she said.•

ADVERTISEMENT

Post a comment to this story

COMMENTS POLICY
We reserve the right to remove any post that we feel is obscene, profane, vulgar, racist, sexually explicit, abusive, or hateful.
 
You are legally responsible for what you post and your anonymity is not guaranteed.
 
Posts that insult, defame, threaten, harass or abuse other readers or people mentioned in Indiana Lawyer editorial content are also subject to removal. Please respect the privacy of individuals and refrain from posting personal information.
 
No solicitations, spamming or advertisements are allowed. Readers may post links to other informational websites that are relevant to the topic at hand, but please do not link to objectionable material.
 
We may remove messages that are unrelated to the topic, encourage illegal activity, use all capital letters or are unreadable.
 

Messages that are flagged by readers as objectionable will be reviewed and may or may not be removed. Please do not flag a post simply because you disagree with it.

Sponsored by

facebook - twitter on Facebook & Twitter

Indiana State Bar Association

Indianapolis Bar Association

Evansville Bar Association

Allen County Bar Association

Indiana Lawyer on Facebook

facebook
ADVERTISEMENT
Subscribe to Indiana Lawyer
  1. Two cops shot execution style in NYC. Was it first amendment protest, or was it incitement to lawlessness? Some are keeping track of the body bags: http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2014/12/13/al-sharpton-leads-thousands-in-saturday-march-on-washington-dc/

  2. From the MCBA: “This situation is not just about the death of Michael Brown, but the thousands of other African-Americans who are disproportionately targeted and killed by police officers.” The association said it was “saddened and disappointed” by the decision not to indict Ferguson police officer. HOPING that the MCBA will denouce the execution style killig of two NYC police officers this day, seemingly the act of one who likewise believes that the police are targeting blacks for murder and getting away with it. http://www.mediaite.com/online/two-nypd-cops-fatally-shot-in-ambush-in-brooklyn/ Pray this violence soon ends, and pray it stays far away from Indiana.

  3. "Am I bugging you? I don't mean to bug ya." If what I wrote below is too much social philosophy for Indiana attorneys, just take ten this vacay to watch The Lego Movie with kiddies and sing along where appropriate: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etzMjoH0rJw

  4. I've got some free speech to share here about who is at work via the cat's paw of the ACLU stamping out Christian observances.... 2 Thessalonians chap 2: "And we also thank God continually because, when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as a human word, but as it actually is, the word of God, which is indeed at work in you who believe. For you, brothers and sisters, became imitators of God’s churches in Judea, which are in Christ Jesus: You suffered from your own people the same things those churches suffered from the Jews who killed the Lord Jesus and the prophets and also drove us out. They displease God and are hostile to everyone in their effort to keep us from speaking to the Gentiles so that they may be saved. In this way they always heap up their sins to the limit. The wrath of God has come upon them at last."

  5. Did someone not tell people who have access to the Chevy Volts that it has a gas engine and will run just like a normal car? The batteries give the Volt approximately a 40 mile range, but after that the gas engine will propel the vehicle either directly through the transmission like any other car, or gas engine recharges the batteries depending on the conditions.

ADVERTISEMENT