ILNews

Mediation space key to resolution, even if it’s a getaway divorce

Dave Stafford
April 24, 2013
Keywords
Back to TopCommentsE-mailPrintBookmark and Share
Indiana Lawyer Focus

Just because a dispute might be ugly, it doesn’t mean the surroundings have to be.

Mediators have long known that a serene, comfortable setting can be conducive to helping parties resolve their differences, but a Fort Wayne firm has taken the concept farther – thousands of miles farther.

Tracey L. Rosswurm and partner Christopher L. LaPan a few months ago founded Destination Divorces of Indiana LLC. The venture’s name says it all: Parting couples choose an exotic location where they travel with a mediator to call the marriage off.

il-mary-hoeller02-15col.jpg Indianapolis mediator Mary Hoeller stands beside a chimney swift tower installed recently behind her home. Attracting a wide variety of birds, she hopes the setting may someday lend itself to providing a welcoming space for mediation. (IL Photo/ Perry Reichanadter)

Rosswurm said the idea arose from a client in a divorce case who believed the familiar surroundings in Fort Wayne seemed to be blocking a resolution and suggested escaping to the Bahamas. “It got us to thinking,” Rosswurm said. “It’s kind of an uplifting and unconventional way of getting a divorce done.”

Recently, Destination Divorces settled its maiden mediation in Scottsdale, Ariz.

“We booked it for three days – Friday, Saturday and Sunday – and got it done on the first day,” Rosswurm said. “The rest of the time was spent sightseeing.”

Couples who choose Destination Divorces are in control of the process from the start because they’re choosing where they want to go, booking the trip themselves and paying for their own travel. Rosswurm said the firm doesn’t charge clients for attorney travel or expenses, instead writing them off as business expenses.

The divorcing parties have a vested interest in resolution. After all, they’re on vacation after they resolve their issues. “They each understand what they’re getting into and what’s going to happen,” Rosswurm said, noting both have agreed in advance to arbitration if the mediation reaches impasse. “They’re both in the driver’s seat. They’re both determining the outcome.”

Rosswurm believes the concept can’t help but lead people to resolution. “When you’re talking about walking over to the Metro Building here downtown versus sitting on the beach or in a clubhouse with palm trees all around, it lightens the mood.

“It could only be helpful, I think, if they’re in a place where they want to be.”

Serene settings

Not everyone will opt for a desert oasis or calm blue ocean for mediation, but many practitioners go the extra mile to remove the trappings of law offices, opting instead to establish a comfortable and serene getaway.

Elodie Ann Meuser, Lori Anne Perryman and Carol Terzo had worked together on family and juvenile matters for more than a decade in the Marion County Prosecutor’s Office before they formed The Mediation Option on Indianapolis’ far north side a little more than two years ago.

Starting from scratch, they knew what they wanted: space with windows and natural light, comfy furnishings and soft colors. “The three of us, we’ve looked at what felt like hundreds of office spaces before we found what we wanted,” Meuser said.

“We were planning this a good six months to a year before we opened the firm,” said Meuser, who heads the Indianapolis Bar Association’s Alternative Dispute Resolution Section. “We did a lot of research into the colors we wanted to use, and the comfort and the setting. We didn’t want to have any office furniture.” The partners tried out furniture before making selections.

“We kind of thought about the furniture we’d like to have in our living room. People are in here six, eight, 10 hours sometimes,” she said. Overstuffed pillows allow clients to take out their frustration with a harmless punch or to hold on tight to something. It’s all helpful, Meuser said. “It’s good for them to get that out.”

Zionsville mediator Patrick Brown is the immediate past chair of the Indiana State Bar Association’s ADR Section. He sometimes breaks out the essential oils to help parties come together. “It literally calms the brain,” he said of the aromas he uses.

“From my perspective, the setting you start with is the image you project,” Brown said. “It’s not legal work, it’s mediation. It’s not about the big things, it’s about the little things,” including smells, sounds, textures, colors, temperatures and so on. Brown even excludes fluorescent lighting because some people are sensitive to it.

“When people come through that door, they’re pretty highly charged emotionally,” he said. “They’re very fearful … they have no idea what to expect.

“A big part of what I do is help people get back on top of that emotional roller coaster they’re riding.”

Brown said his clients have an interest in pursuing an ongoing relationship post-mediation, whether they are families or people with business associations. That’s why he said there are no tables in his office, because they represent separation. That also may be why there’s a lawyer doll with Velcro arms and legs that people can rip apart if the mood strikes.

Brown, who holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology, said that in his experience, the adversarial legal process doesn’t benefit people who seek an ongoing relationship. “As an outcome of that focus, I began to look at how does the brain function in disputes?” he said. “The biggest thing is adrenaline. How do you act in a way to create a circumstance to counteract the adrenaline … and give people the freedom to be rational?”

Mobile mediation

Indianapolis mediator Mary Hoeller takes her dispute resolution services where parties agree to meet, and she said she believes that first step of getting parties in an agreeable location sets the stage for success.

“They want to get it done, too, and it’s a nice incentive for them to think about where they would feel comfortable,” she said.

The location may be a law office, a home or some other site. She once met with nine children in a family matter in one of their homes. With siblings visiting from a number of locations, ADR in a familiar setting helped put everyone at ease.

“Going to someone’s house is a pretty intimate thing, so already you build a level of trust,” said Hoeller, a registered nurse, attorney and mediator.

If she is in an office setting, Hoeller tries to situate people so they are facing each other. She, too, tries to make sure tables aren’t in the way.

Meanwhile, Hoeller is working on developing a getaway at her northwest-side home that she hopes will be attractive for people who want to resolve their differences.

In her backyard, she’s creating something of a bird sanctuary. House finches, woodpeckers, mourning doves and grosbeaks are already among the menagerie, and she’s hoping to lure some chimney swifts on return from their winter migration to Peru.

She hopes the setting will become a natural and inviting spot for mediation. “I think that would be really cool,” she said.•

ADVERTISEMENT

Post a comment to this story

COMMENTS POLICY
We reserve the right to remove any post that we feel is obscene, profane, vulgar, racist, sexually explicit, abusive, or hateful.
 
You are legally responsible for what you post and your anonymity is not guaranteed.
 
Posts that insult, defame, threaten, harass or abuse other readers or people mentioned in Indiana Lawyer editorial content are also subject to removal. Please respect the privacy of individuals and refrain from posting personal information.
 
No solicitations, spamming or advertisements are allowed. Readers may post links to other informational websites that are relevant to the topic at hand, but please do not link to objectionable material.
 
We may remove messages that are unrelated to the topic, encourage illegal activity, use all capital letters or are unreadable.
 

Messages that are flagged by readers as objectionable will be reviewed and may or may not be removed. Please do not flag a post simply because you disagree with it.

Sponsored by

facebook - twitter on Facebook & Twitter

Indiana State Bar Association

Indianapolis Bar Association

Evansville Bar Association

Allen County Bar Association

Indiana Lawyer on Facebook

facebook
ADVERTISEMENT
Subscribe to Indiana Lawyer
  1. It appears the police and prosecutors are allowed to change the rules halfway through the game to suit themselves. I am surprised that the congress has not yet eliminated the right to a trial in cases involving any type of forensic evidence. That would suit their foolish law and order police state views. I say we eliminate the statute of limitations for crimes committed by members of congress and other government employees. Of course they would never do that. They are all corrupt cowards!!!

  2. Poor Judge Brown probably thought that by slavishly serving the godz of the age her violations of 18th century concepts like due process and the rule of law would be overlooked. Mayhaps she was merely a Judge ahead of her time?

  3. in a lawyer discipline case Judge Brown, now removed, was presiding over a hearing about a lawyer accused of the supposedly heinous ethical violation of saying the words "Illegal immigrant." (IN re Barker) http://www.in.gov/judiciary/files/order-discipline-2013-55S00-1008-DI-429.pdf .... I wonder if when we compare the egregious violations of due process by Judge Brown, to her chiding of another lawyer for politically incorrectness, if there are any conclusions to be drawn about what kind of person, what kind of judge, what kind of apparatchik, is busy implementing the agenda of political correctness and making off-limits legit advocacy about an adverse party in a suit whose illegal alien status is relevant? I am just asking the question, the reader can make own conclsuion. Oh wait-- did I use the wrong adjective-- let me rephrase that, um undocumented alien?

  4. of course the bigger questions of whether or not the people want to pay for ANY bussing is off limits, due to the Supreme Court protecting the people from DEMOCRACY. Several decades hence from desegregation and bussing plans and we STILL need to be taking all this taxpayer money to combat mostly-imagined "discrimination" in the most obviously failed social program of the postwar period.

  5. You can put your photos anywhere you like... When someone steals it they know it doesn't belong to them. And, a man getting a divorce is automatically not a nice guy...? That's ridiculous. Since when is need of money a conflict of interest? That would mean that no one should have a job unless they are already financially solvent without a job... A photographer is also under no obligation to use a watermark (again, people know when a photo doesn't belong to them) or provide contact information. Hey, he didn't make it easy for me to pay him so I'll just take it! Well heck, might as well walk out of the grocery store with a cart full of food because the lines are too long and you don't find that convenient. "Only in Indiana." Oh, now you're passing judgement on an entire state... What state do you live in? I need to characterize everyone in your state as ignorant and opinionated. And the final bit of ignorance; assuming a photo anyone would want is lucky and then how much does your camera have to cost to make it a good photo, in your obviously relevant opinion?

ADVERTISEMENT