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Michael J. Hebenstreit: Life Rushing By

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IBA-hebenstreitLife moments. Some may be an accomplishment (winning a big trial), a disappointment, a funeral or a seemingly insignificant event. We all have them—some good, some not so good, but they are those events that for some reason stick with us for a lifetime. One of mine occurred about 20 years ago. I was accompanying my son on a Boy Scout camping trip and the other young Scouts kept addressing someone they called “Mr. Hebenstreit.” That had always been my Dad, but it dawned on me that even though I did not feel particularly old or grown up at that time, they were referring to me, not my dad. They reminded me that I was older than I thought. A real life moment.

This summer, we have just finished a marathon of five weddings on five consecutive weekends. They took us to Hilton Head Island, Peoria, Oxford, Ohio and two were actually here in Indy. Although they certainly dominated our social calendar, all were quite fun. Four of them involved the weddings of children of our good friends and two involved “kids” who were also very close friends of our children.

The final wedding was for the daughter of my law partner, Greg Zubek. Mollie and our youngest son met in pre-kindergarten and have been close friends ever since. In fact, it was probably their friendship that encouraged the conversations between Greg and me that lead to our practicing together.

As I watched all of these young men and women walk down the aisle to begin the new chapter of their lives, I was stuck with the thought that an entire lifetime had passed in front of my eyes. We have known the parents for decades and watched those “children” grow up through various school events, sports, school troubles and successes, and vacations and have been a part of their lives. Now each was heading out and forging new lives. We enjoyed seeing our friends and being a part of this new experience for their children. It was a life moment that was about life passages.

Weddings and funerals are two life moments that create unique challenges and opportunities. How much does it really mean for the person or family to see you at the wedding or attend the funeral? It is easy to diminish the importance and find excuses for not making the effort. We all are busy and have too much to do already. The importance of reaching out to friends really hit home at Mollie’s wedding. Our son had debated if it made sense to fly in from LA just for the weekend when he knew he really would not have much of a chance to actually talk with the bride. When Mollie saw Kyle in the church, she actually started crying. That simple moment was worth a king’s ransom. Like most folks these days, they stay in touch by Facebook and the other forms of social media, but that face to face interaction obviously meant so much. A real life moment.

Every legal publication we pick up these days has at least one article about life / work / career balance. How do we juggle home life, career, the practice, the family and still make it all work for us. Why is it important? I really don’t think my parents devoted any time thinking about their life/work balance. They were too concerned about raising four children, paying the bills and getting all of us educated to have time to worry about their own happiness.

Recently, I have spoken with age contemporaries in bigger firms who have commented that they are confounded by the perceived lack of work ethic in the young associates in their firms. Many are nowhere to be seen after 5:00 PM. Perhaps they are working from home remotely after they put the children to bed, perhaps not. There is nothing wrong with hard work. After all, that is the foundation upon which our society has been built and supported. Virtually anything worth accomplishing comes as a result of hard work. It is a necessary part of our lives. But along with that hard work comes the challenge of creating positive life moments. Through all of these weddings, it has become very clear to me that it is critical to not only develop friendships, but to maintain them throughout your life. It enriches life, gives it special meaning and puts everything in perspective. Work hard, play hard, but don’t forget to make time for friends.•

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  1. Why are all these lawyers yakking to the media about pending matters? Trial by media? What the devil happened to not making extrajudicial statements? The system is falling apart.

  2. It is a sad story indeed as this couple has been only in survival mode, NOT found guilty with Ponzi, shaken down for 5 years and pursued by prosecution that has been ignited by a civil suit with very deep pockets wrenched in their bitterness...It has been said that many of us are breaking an average of 300 federal laws a day without even knowing it. Structuring laws, & civilForfeiture laws are among the scariest that need to be restructured or repealed . These laws were initially created for drug Lords and laundering money and now reach over that line. Here you have a couple that took out their own money, not drug money, not laundering. Yes...Many upset that they lost money...but how much did they make before it all fell apart? No one ask that question? A civil suit against Williams was awarded because he has no more money to fight...they pushed for a break in order...they took all his belongings...even underwear, shoes and clothes? who does that? What allows that? Maybe if you had the picture of him purchasing a jacket at the Goodwill just to go to court the next day...his enemy may be satisfied? But not likely...bitterness is a master. For happy ending lovers, you will be happy to know they have a faith that has changed their world and a solid love that many of us can only dream about. They will spend their time in federal jail for taking their money from their account, but at the end of the day they have loyal friends, a true love and a hope of a new life in time...and none of that can be bought or taken That is the real story.

  3. Could be his email did something especially heinous, really over the top like questioning Ind S.Ct. officials or accusing JLAP of being the political correctness police.

  4. Sounds like overkill to me, too. Do the feds not have enough "real" crime to keep them busy?

  5. We live in the world that has become wider in sense of business and competition. Everything went into the Web in addition to the existing physical global challenges in business. I heard that one of the latest innovations is moving to VDR - cloud-based security-protected repositories. Of course virtual data rooms comparison is required if you want to pick up the best one.

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