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Quality of Life: Don’t be a slug when dealing with a workplace bully

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Quality of LifeI don’t know if you recognize the name Scut Farkus, but if you do, you know that he is the coonskin-capped bully who tormented Ralphie Parker and his friends in the movie, “A Christmas Story.” In the film, Farkus terrorizes the kids in his neighborhood to the point that they run away whenever they see him. In one memorable scene, Ralphie’s brother, Randy, falls down while running to get away. The narrator’s description of the mishap is one of my all-time favorites: “Randy just lay on the ground like a slug. It was his only defense.”

Have you ever had to deal with a bully? If so, hopefully you didn’t have to resort to becoming slug-like in order to survive the experience.

Bullies in the workplace are not all that different from bullies on the playground – in large part because grown-up bullies (is that an oxymoron?) use many of the same tactics as their younger counterparts.

According to a 2010 survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute, a nonprofit organization in Bellingham, Wash., 35 percent of American workers reported being bullied at work.

In 2007 at a national conference on professional responsibility sponsored by the American Bar Association, one panel discussion focused on workplace bullies. Because the legal profession by its nature includes a great deal of competitiveness and confrontation, legal professionals sometimes misdirect those behaviors toward colleagues at inappropriate times and in inappropriate circumstances. Some firms acknowledge that bullies do exist in the legal community and create policies that attempt to weed out bullies or prevent the hiring of bullies in the first place.

WBI research shows that bullying usually takes one of four forms. 1) The bully can scream, taunt or yell, often in front of others, causing distress and humiliation for the target. The practiced bully knows how to bring the target’s performance into question in situations where the person is unable to defend himself – when the files, facts or figures needed to back up a position are not readily available. 2) The bully can criticize his or her target in private, ripping the individual to shreds and making accusations of gross incompetence. Interestingly, this tactic is usually inflicted upon an extremely competent target. 3) The bully is inconsistent – friendly one moment and extremely critical the next. This keeps the target off balance, never knowing what to expect. 4) The bully can make it impossible for the target to succeed by denying the resources the target needs to do his or her job, or by setting unrealistic deadlines that are impossible to meet.

Some bullies employ more than one of the tactics listed above. Most bullies are quite adept at the art from years of practice, and may start with what appear to be well-meaning constructive criticisms. At this stage, it is easy for the target to internalize the criticisms, taking them to heart and trying to “improve” his or her work performance. Initially, this is where the bully can do the most damage – because the target doesn’t yet realize that he or she is becoming the victim of a bully. It is the repetitive nature of the criticism that can start to chip away at the target’s confidence, causing the target to actually begin making mistakes due to the unrelenting stress caused by the criticisms.

It is important that the target recognize that he or she is being bullied – hopefully before it reaches a critical stage, as the effects of bullying can be severe. Early signs include: 1) You find yourself dreading the start of the work week; 2) You are tense and on edge when you are at the office; 3) When you go to the doctor, you find that your blood pressure has skyrocketed, and you are plagued by maladies that are caused by stress; 4) You find yourself taking days off for “mental health breaks.”

If you are the victim of a bully, you need either to confront the offender directly, and/or report it to management. In most workplaces, you will be told to try to handle it yourself, at least initially. To the extent you can, respond to the bully in a clear, concise, reasoned (and most importantly) firm fashion. Many times bullies will back off when they are confronted.

Sometimes, though, the practiced bully knows how to respond when confronted and can often manipulate the situation in his or her favor. It is best to document every bullying encounter that you experience and take that information to management or human resources. You may even want to seek counseling if the bully’s behavior starts to drain you emotionally.

According to a WBI study, targets are often more technically skilled than their bullies and are often the “go-to” veteran employees to whom other employees turn for guidance. When targets take steps to preserve their dignity and their right to be treated with respect, the bullies escalate their efforts to intimidate and degrade the target.

If you are the target of a bully, try to remember that he or she most likely has zeroed in on you because you are competent and sees you as a threat. You’ve heard the adage, “the best defense is a good offense.” The bully misplaces that advice and uses it to try to manipulate and threaten people he or she fears. Bullies go on the offensive toward those who aren’t actually threatening them – as the perceived threat is only in their minds.

Bullies engage in their bad behavior because they are insecure and feel vulnerable. That may be small comfort when it is happening to you, but it is something to keep in mind if you ever become a target. It is also important to remember that bullies usually get their comeuppance sooner or later. Even Scut Farkus got his in the end.•

__________

Jonna Kane MacDougall is assistant dean for external affairs and alumni relations at the IU Robert H. McKinney School of Law. A professional career/life coach, MacDougall can be contacted at 317-775-1804 or whatsnextcoaching@gmail.com. The opinions expressed in this column are the author’s.

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  1. He called our nation a nation of cowards because we didn't want to talk about race. That was a cheap shot coming from the top cop. The man who decides who gets the federal government indicts. Wow. Not a gentleman if that is the measure. More importantly, this insult delivered as we all understand, to white people-- without him or anybody needing to explain that is precisely what he meant-- but this is an insult to timid white persons who fear the government and don't want to say anything about race for fear of being accused a racist. With all the legal heat that can come down on somebody if they say something which can be construed by a prosecutor like Mr Holder as racist, is it any wonder white people-- that's who he meant obviously-- is there any surprise that white people don't want to talk about race? And as lawyers we have even less freedom lest our remarks be considered violations of the rules. Mr Holder also demonstrated his bias by publically visiting with the family of the young man who was killed by a police offering in the line of duty, which was a very strong indicator of bias agains the offer who is under investigation, and was a failure to lead properly by letting his investigators do their job without him predetermining the proper outcome. He also has potentially biased the jury pool. All in all this worsens race relations by feeding into the perception shared by whites as well as blacks that justice will not be impartial. I will say this much, I do not blame Obama for all of HOlder's missteps. Obama has done a lot of things to stay above the fray and try and be a leader for all Americans. Maybe he should have reigned Holder in some but Obama's got his hands full with other problelms. Oh did I mention HOlder is a bank crony who will probably get a job in a silkstocking law firm working for millions of bucks a year defending bankers whom he didn't have the integrity or courage to hold to account for their acts of fraud on the United States, other financial institutions, and the people. His tenure will be regarded by history as a failure of leadership at one of the most important jobs in our nation. Finally and most importantly besides him insulting the public and letting off the big financial cheats, he has been at the forefront of over-prosecuting the secrecy laws to punish whistleblowers and chill free speech. What has Holder done to vindicate the rights of privacy of the American public against the illegal snooping of the NSA? He could have charged NSA personnel with violations of law for their warrantless wiretapping which has been done millions of times and instead he did not persecute a single soul. That is a defalcation of historical proportions and it signals to the public that the government DOJ under him was not willing to do a damn thing to protect the public against the rapid growth of the illegal surveillance state. Who else could have done this? Nobody. And for that omission Obama deserves the blame too. Here were are sliding into a police state and Eric Holder made it go all the faster.

  2. JOE CLAYPOOL candidate for Superior Court in Harrison County - Indiana This candidate is misleading voters to think he is a Judge by putting Elect Judge Joe Claypool on his campaign literature. paragraphs 2 and 9 below clearly indicate this injustice to voting public to gain employment. What can we do? Indiana Code - Section 35-43-5-3: Deception (a) A person who: (1) being an officer, manager, or other person participating in the direction of a credit institution, knowingly or intentionally receives or permits the receipt of a deposit or other investment, knowing that the institution is insolvent; (2) knowingly or intentionally makes a false or misleading written statement with intent to obtain property, employment, or an educational opportunity; (3) misapplies entrusted property, property of a governmental entity, or property of a credit institution in a manner that the person knows is unlawful or that the person knows involves substantial risk of loss or detriment to either the owner of the property or to a person for whose benefit the property was entrusted; (4) knowingly or intentionally, in the regular course of business, either: (A) uses or possesses for use a false weight or measure or other device for falsely determining or recording the quality or quantity of any commodity; or (B) sells, offers, or displays for sale or delivers less than the represented quality or quantity of any commodity; (5) with intent to defraud another person furnishing electricity, gas, water, telecommunication, or any other utility service, avoids a lawful charge for that service by scheme or device or by tampering with facilities or equipment of the person furnishing the service; (6) with intent to defraud, misrepresents the identity of the person or another person or the identity or quality of property; (7) with intent to defraud an owner of a coin machine, deposits a slug in that machine; (8) with intent to enable the person or another person to deposit a slug in a coin machine, makes, possesses, or disposes of a slug; (9) disseminates to the public an advertisement that the person knows is false, misleading, or deceptive, with intent to promote the purchase or sale of property or the acceptance of employment;

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  4. I grew up on a farm and live in the county and it's interesting that the big industrial farmers like Jeff Shoaf don't live next to their industrial operations...

  5. So that none are misinformed by my posting wihtout a non de plume here, please allow me to state that I am NOT an Indiana licensed attorney, although I am an Indiana resident approved to practice law and represent clients in Indiana's fed court of Nth Dist and before the 7th circuit. I remain licensed in KS, since 1996, no discipline. This must be clarified since the IN court records will reveal that I did sit for and pass the Indiana bar last February. Yet be not confused by the fact that I was so allowed to be tested .... I am not, to be clear in the service of my duty to be absolutely candid about this, I AM NOT a member of the Indiana bar, and might never be so licensed given my unrepented from errors of thought documented in this opinion, at fn2, which likely supports Mr Smith's initial post in this thread: http://caselaw.findlaw.com/us-7th-circuit/1592921.html

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