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Quality of Life: Sometimes a small change is all you really need

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Quality of LifeDid you ever notice the amazing difference that a fresh coat of paint can make for your house, or a single room, or even an aging piece of furniture? A fresh coat of paint can rejuvenate your surroundings and make them seem brand new.

Think about what it felt like the last time you painted a room in your house. You were probably astonished at the transformative effect of a mere coat of paint. Suddenly, you no longer minded spending time in the room. Maybe it prompted you to add some coordinating window coverings or some interesting artwork. You probably ended up seeing the room in a whole new light.

Not long ago, I had one of “those” days — a day when you get into the car after work and start driving, and somehow it seems like a good idea not to stop — ever. You reach your driveway and instead of pulling in, you contemplate driving on-and-on-and-on hoping that eventually you’ll arrive at a life that’s different from your own. I think everyone has felt that way from time to time. But it isn’t very realistic to think that you can completely escape your life; and truthfully, you don’t want someone else’s life anyway. But there may be some things you can do to make your life come more into alignment with your own image of yourself, your hopes, dreams and values.

The next time you feel like you need a whole new life, consider that perhaps what you need instead is a fresh coat of paint. You may not need a drastic life overhaul. So, before you quit your job, or end your relationship, or sell your house, or drive off into oblivion, think about other ways that you could breathe new life into, well, your life. If you could hit a “refresh” button on your life, what would it do and where would it take you?

Take some time to reflect on your life and identify those aspects that may have stalled, or for one reason or another have grown stagnant for you. What is the source of the stagnation? Is it something that you can change?

Do you work 24/7, without ever taking a vacation? Do you fear that if you take time off, the Machiavellian types at work will plan a coup in your absence? What keeps you from taking steps to bring balance into your life? If you take some time to answer these questions thoughtfully, you may be able to create scenarios where you can find some “you” time. Everyone needs to recharge the batteries.

Not long ago, I had a doctor’s appointment on the north side of town. At this particular doctor, it usually takes about two and a half hours, start to finish, to get through the appointment. Last week, however, I was out in 45 minutes! It was 4:30. I had options: I could drive back downtown and work until my normal quitting time around 7:30, or I could go home. That day, I opted to go home. It was like getting a three-hour gift in the middle of the week. I was home by 5 p.m. Of course, I checked my work email, but I also did four loads of laundry and started dinner. It was amazing. It was broad daylight and I was home. Talk about fresh paint. Something that small can make a huge, positive impact.

Maybe, however, lack of time is not a problem, but your personal life is so boring that it even puts you to sleep. What can you do to bring more joy, excitement, or fulfillment into your life? Just because you never considered whitewater rafting or skydiving in the past doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t explore it now. There are art classes and ballroom dancing classes and yoga classes just waiting for you to sign up for them. You only live once. If you don’t try something different now, when are you going to do it?

Maybe your work life and home life are both fine, but you feel as though you aren’t making any kind of positive difference in the world. First of all, there is a strong chance that you are, but you just don’t realize it. Remember George Bailey in “It’s a Wonderful Life”? He thought his life was meaningless, but learned that he helped people in ways that he never dreamed. You are most likely doing that too. But if you want to do something more definitive in that arena, there are many ways, through volunteer work, that you can make a significant contribution to the lives of others. Or, you may want to start closer to home. There is no better time to become reconnected with friends and relatives who might need your help.

It is possible that just changing your routine slightly can make a significant difference in your overall outlook. Or perhaps you need something more concrete, with immediately visible results — in which case, you could always paint a room in your house.•

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Jonna Kane MacDougall is assistant dean for external affairs and alumni relations at the IU Robert H. McKinney School of Law. A professional career/life coach, MacDougall can be contacted at 317-775-1804 or whatsnextcoaching@gmail.com. The opinions expressed in this column are the author’s.

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  1. I have been on this program while on parole from 2011-2013. No person should be forced mentally to share private details of their personal life with total strangers. Also giving permission for a mental therapist to report to your parole agent that your not participating in group therapy because you don't have the financial mean to be in the group therapy. I was personally singled out and sent back three times for not having money and also sent back within the six month when you aren't to be sent according to state law. I will work to het this INSOMM's removed from this state. I also had twelve or thirteen parole agents with a fifteen month period. Thanks for your time.

  2. Our nation produces very few jurists of the caliber of Justice DOUGLAS and his peers these days. Here is that great civil libertarian, who recognized government as both a blessing and, when corrupted by ideological interests, a curse: "Once the investigator has only the conscience of government as a guide, the conscience can become ‘ravenous,’ as Cromwell, bent on destroying Thomas More, said in Bolt, A Man For All Seasons (1960), p. 120. The First Amendment mirrors many episodes where men, harried and harassed by government, sought refuge in their conscience, as these lines of Thomas More show: ‘MORE: And when we stand before God, and you are sent to Paradise for doing according to your conscience, *575 and I am damned for not doing according to mine, will you come with me, for fellowship? ‘CRANMER: So those of us whose names are there are damned, Sir Thomas? ‘MORE: I don't know, Your Grace. I have no window to look into another man's conscience. I condemn no one. ‘CRANMER: Then the matter is capable of question? ‘MORE: Certainly. ‘CRANMER: But that you owe obedience to your King is not capable of question. So weigh a doubt against a certainty—and sign. ‘MORE: Some men think the Earth is round, others think it flat; it is a matter capable of question. But if it is flat, will the King's command make it round? And if it is round, will the King's command flatten it? No, I will not sign.’ Id., pp. 132—133. DOUGLAS THEN WROTE: Where government is the Big Brother,11 privacy gives way to surveillance. **909 But our commitment is otherwise. *576 By the First Amendment we have staked our security on freedom to promote a multiplicity of ideas, to associate at will with kindred spirits, and to defy governmental intrusion into these precincts" Gibson v. Florida Legislative Investigation Comm., 372 U.S. 539, 574-76, 83 S. Ct. 889, 908-09, 9 L. Ed. 2d 929 (1963) Mr. Justice DOUGLAS, concurring. I write: Happy Memorial Day to all -- God please bless our fallen who lived and died to preserve constitutional governance in our wonderful series of Republics. And God open the eyes of those government officials who denounce the constitutions of these Republics by arbitrary actions arising out capricious motives.

  3. From back in the day before secularism got a stranglehold on Hoosier jurists comes this great excerpt via Indiana federal court judge Allan Sharp, dedicated to those many Indiana government attorneys (with whom I have dealt) who count the law as a mere tool, an optional tool that is not to be used when political correctness compels a more acceptable result than merely following the path that the law directs: ALLEN SHARP, District Judge. I. In a scene following a visit by Henry VIII to the home of Sir Thomas More, playwriter Robert Bolt puts the following words into the mouths of his characters: Margaret: Father, that man's bad. MORE: There is no law against that. ROPER: There is! God's law! MORE: Then God can arrest him. ROPER: Sophistication upon sophistication! MORE: No, sheer simplicity. The law, Roper, the law. I know what's legal not what's right. And I'll stick to what's legal. ROPER: Then you set man's law above God's! MORE: No, far below; but let me draw your attention to a fact I'm not God. The currents and eddies of right and wrong, which you find such plain sailing, I can't navigate. I'm no voyager. But in the thickets of law, oh, there I'm a forester. I doubt if there's a man alive who could follow me there, thank God... ALICE: (Exasperated, pointing after Rich) While you talk, he's gone! MORE: And go he should, if he was the Devil himself, until he broke the law! ROPER: So now you'd give the Devil benefit of law! MORE: Yes. What would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil? ROPER: I'd cut down every law in England to do that! MORE: (Roused and excited) Oh? (Advances on Roper) And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned round on you where would you hide, Roper, the laws being flat? (He leaves *1257 him) This country's planted thick with laws from coast to coast man's laws, not God's and if you cut them down and you're just the man to do it d'you really think you would stand upright in the winds that would blow then? (Quietly) Yes, I'd give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety's sake. ROPER: I have long suspected this; this is the golden calf; the law's your god. MORE: (Wearily) Oh, Roper, you're a fool, God's my god... (Rather bitterly) But I find him rather too (Very bitterly) subtle... I don't know where he is nor what he wants. ROPER: My God wants service, to the end and unremitting; nothing else! MORE: (Dryly) Are you sure that's God! He sounds like Moloch. But indeed it may be God And whoever hunts for me, Roper, God or Devil, will find me hiding in the thickets of the law! And I'll hide my daughter with me! Not hoist her up the mainmast of your seagoing principles! They put about too nimbly! (Exit More. They all look after him). Pgs. 65-67, A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS A Play in Two Acts, Robert Bolt, Random House, New York, 1960. Linley E. Pearson, Atty. Gen. of Indiana, Indianapolis, for defendants. Childs v. Duckworth, 509 F. Supp. 1254, 1256 (N.D. Ind. 1981) aff'd, 705 F.2d 915 (7th Cir. 1983)

  4. "Meanwhile small- and mid-size firms are getting squeezed and likely will not survive unless they become a boutique firm." I've been a business attorney in small, and now mid-size firm for over 30 years, and for over 30 years legal consultants have been preaching this exact same mantra of impending doom for small and mid-sized firms -- verbatim. This claim apparently helps them gin up merger opportunities from smaller firms who become convinced that they need to become larger overnight. The claim that large corporations are interested in cost-saving and efficiency has likewise been preached for decades, and is likewise bunk. If large corporations had any real interest in saving money they wouldn't use large law firms whose rates are substantially higher than those of high-quality mid-sized firms.

  5. The family is the foundation of all human government. That is the Grand Design. Modern governments throw off this Design and make bureaucratic war against the family, as does Hollywood and cultural elitists such as third wave feminists. Since WWII we have been on a ship of fools that way, with both the elite and government and their social engineering hacks relentlessly attacking the very foundation of social order. And their success? See it in the streets of Fergusson, on the food stamp doles (mostly broken families)and in the above article. Reject the Grand Design for true social function, enter the Glorious State to manage social dysfunction. Our Brave New World will be a prison camp, and we will welcome it as the only way to manage given the anarchy without it.

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