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For those fortunate enough never to have known extreme pain, that is a blessing.
When it is endured, it is a teacher. Pain has no résumé requirements. Pain is unimpressed by wealth or achievement. It cuts through hierarchy and teaches empathy no classroom can match. Serious illness is also often misunderstood by those who haven’t lived through it. Yet those who’ve gone through that rite of passage often say they gained perspective that no other experience could have given them.
Pain shortens the distance between lawyer and client and narrows the gap between intellect and empathy. In that way, pain becomes a kind of continuing legal education that no seminar can teach.
A lawyer who has tasted pain sees suffering more clearly. You no longer need to act empathetic. And while deadlines, clients and outcomes are ubiquitous, pain redefines what qualifies as a “bad day”’ It also has a way of stripping away arrogance.
A serious injury? It opens our eyes to gaps in health care, disability support and basic access.
Without question, all who experience severe pain come back to work with a deeper appreciation for simply feeling just OK.
There is a famous attorney named Darryl Isaacs — aka “The Hammer” (his ads are everywhere) — who already had been practicing for many years when, in January 2015, a motorist struck him while he was riding his bicycle, breaking his neck and causing a brain bleed and other serious injuries. After that, he used his experience in his practice.
Imagine you’re a high achiever in your firm, but chronic migraines floor you. When intense enough, it strips away everything.
Even in childbirth, we know that mothers, by definition, are more stoic after enduring such powerful pain.
If you have ever shared a hospital room with another patient in severe pain, the hierarchy of life collapses. All that remains is one question: Can I endure this?
The experience — corny as it may sound — often broadens the soul. Pain doesn’t care if you are famous, infamous or just a “nobody.”
I am reminded of a wise woman who died of lung cancer at 47. She told me, “Health is all you have.”
I recall a client who told me that after a head‑on collision with an intoxicated driver, his only thought was to survive. When the sirens wailed and emergency lights approached, he realized, “This is all for me.” After he was released from the hospital, his older brother didn’t understand why he was still heavily medicated until the brother underwent emergency surgery himself. Then he understood.
The lessons extend further than the hospital room and to the courtroom itself. Picking a jury? Watch them when they walk to the jury chair, how they sit, whether they can sit comfortably, and whether they wince in pain.
Almost everyone I know who survives a life‑altering painful injury returns to work with renewed purpose. They give more to charity. They notice when someone struggles to reach a shelf in the grocery store. They will more likely help the elderly load their bags. They appreciate everyday normalcy.
And sometimes humility sounds like this: After falling off his tractor and bruising his back, the farmer climbed back on and said: “Me? No, I am fine as frog’s hair.”•
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Graham is a criminal and family lawyer in Bloomington. Opinions expressed are those of the author.
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