Dear Procrastinating Attorney:
I know you had big plans for this year.
In fact, I think I remember your telling me last year at the IndyBar Holiday Party that 2018 was the year you were going to “take no prisoners” and you would become a “master of the universe.” Simply put, Katy Perry wanted you to be a firework who let your colors burst and you intended to comply. Fully. But somehow, some way, it didn’t work out and you failed to go boom-boom-boom brighter than the moon-moon-moon.
Sure, you had some accomplishments at the beginning of the year. For example, you lost three pounds (before you gained six) and you got up at 5 a.m. most mornings to work out (before you hit snooze and went back to bed until 7 a.m. and promised to ride the elliptical “tomorrow.”)
You also made a list of things that you were going to accomplish. (Making a list is a bit of an accomplishment. No?) If I am not mistaken, that list went something like this:
1. Take down holiday decorations from 2017.
2. Figure out what YOLO means.
3. Finish binge-watching “Fuller House” on Netflix.
4. Donate to the Indianapolis Bar Foundation.
5. Get your CLE hours in before the last week in December.
Of course, you knocked out very little of this list, so let me give you some help.
1. Decorations. The holidays are upon us. Leave the decorations up. You’re good.
2. YOLO. YOLO means “You Only Live Once.” Imagine Robin Williams saying “YOLO” instead of “Carpe Diem” in “Dead Poet’s Society.” They are similar concepts.
3. “Fuller House.” Amazingly, you accomplished this one. Twice. Congratulations. Uncle Jesse is so proud of you. Please mark #3 off the list.
4. IBF Donation. Easy. Just make your donations at indybar.org/donate.
5. CLEs. Why do you do this to yourself every year?
The good news is that it is so easy to get your CLEs through the IndyBar. The IndyBar has over 20 hours of live CLE available in December, 64 hours of video replays scheduled on eight days in December and over 200 hours of On Demand CLE online all day, every day at indybar.org/ondemandcle. They have you covered.
Now, I get where you are coming from. YOLO, and there is so much to spend your time on for 51 weeks of the year. Why waste those weeks getting CLEs, acquiring life insurance, changing your will so your kids don’t end up with your in-laws, or paying quarterly taxes? You shouldn’t. (Well, you should pay those taxes.) You should seize the 51/52nds of the year and then take care of the rest of your list when you get around to it.
So, see you in the gym and the IndyBar offices the last week of the year. We got some weight to lose and some CLE hours to gain.
Talk to you soon.