Applegate & Dillman: Tips for long-term care patients’ families during pandemic

Mid-March was likely the last time you saw your loved one in a senior living facility face-to-face. The coronavirus pandemic has led most nursing homes to close their doors or, at the very least, require stringent temperature checks and other precautions for urgent visits. As a result, families are fearful and anxious about the care their relatives are receiving and whether they will be exposed to the virus.

The concerns are prompted by the numbers. Deaths at long-term care facilities make up 46% of Indiana’s total coronavirus fatalities, but nursing home residents comprise only 12% of positive cases, according to data as of June 4 from the Indiana State Department of Health.

Here are some tips for families that may help ease their fears.

Tip 1: Take action

Family members may feel helpless and worry about whether their loved ones are in danger. One thing that helps fight that feeling of despair is to take action to control what you can about the situation.

Get your plans in place in case your relative starts showing symptoms of the coronavirus. This involves updating advance directives — including whether your loved one would want CPR, to be placed on a ventilator or to be taken to the hospital. Just taking action by updating these important legal documents may help you feel better.

Talk to the nursing home about what would happen if your loved one were to test positive. Make sure the care plan is one you are comfortable with.

Tip 2: Keep in touch

Just because you can’t visit daily or weekly doesn’t mean you have to be completely cut off from your loved one. Initiate regular telephone calls or video visits to provide the long-term care resident with emotional support and show facility staff members that your family is vigilant.

You may need to work with the nursing home to schedule a regular call or video chat time if your loved one has hearing or eyesight impairment, memory issues or poor motor skills. Please know that the more you can work with the facility in advance, the better. Many nursing homes are short-staffed right now and some timeframes are better than others for calls. Try to avoid mealtimes and other busy periods.

You might also ask the nursing home if they have a room or an office that the resident can come to where the family can see and speak to them through a window by phone. Just getting to see your loved one will be comforting.

While it’s important to keep in touch with your family member, it’s just as important to maintain communication with facility administrators. Call or email them with questions and concerns regularly. Also, these frontline workers are very overworked right now. Consider showing them how much you appreciate their efforts with a card, note or treat.

Tip 3: Don’t go it alone

You aren’t the only family in this situation. Reach out to other families in the facility through email chains or telephone trees.

Are you seeing signs that things may not be going as well as you’d hope? Working with a group can help ensure things change. Contact other families to see if they have similar concerns and then band together. It’s harder to ignore multiple families and brush off their concerns.

If you are a family that uses Life Care Planning, this is the time to reach out to your elder care coordinators. They are there to advocate for your family and communicate with the facility to ensure all your needs are being met and to find solutions to any problems.

If you find your anxiety is overwhelming, you can seek group counseling led by a social worker. Many times, if you discuss your fears openly, a mediator can help alleviate or prevent an escalation of those fears. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help!

Tip 4: Contact Indiana’s ombudsman

Every state has a long-term care ombudsman who is responsible for advocating for nursing home residents, addressing complaints and working to solve issues.

Indiana’s ombudsmen are restricted from visiting facilities due to the pandemic, but you can still speak with the ombudsman in your area by phone or email if you have concerns about the care your loved one is receiving. You can reach them at in.gov/ombudsman/2347.htm or 800-622-4484. As you can imagine, they are extremely busy right now, so it may take two or three business days for them to respond to your questions.

You may feel helpless right now, but keeping the lines of communication open and taking action when you can may help reduce your anxiety. Your family has attorneys, nursing home administrators, a care team and even the state there to help ensure your loved ones are safe and protected during this difficult time. Don’t hesitate to reach out to them for help.•

• Lisa Dillman and Carol Applegate are attorneys at Applegate & Dillman Elder Law, www.applegate-dillman.com, with offices in Indianapolis, Carmel and Zionsville. Opinions expressed are those of the authors.