IndyBar: Balancing Confidence and Vulnerability as a New Lawyer

By Audreyalice Warner

As attorneys, many of us feel we must appear invincible, fully formed, certain, and never admit doubt. Law school often reinforced that instinct: don’t raise your hand unless you know the answer, don’t let them see you sweat, only the top of the class will get the good jobs. But that mindset, while understandable, can hold us back.

Here’s a counterintuitive truth: our growth as lawyers (and, frankly, as humans) accelerates when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Vulnerability, when paired with earned confidence, is not weakness. It’s courage. I’m honored to share a few words on why I believe vulnerability is essential for new attorneys and how we can balance it with confidence.

Vulnerability Builds Trust

In the words of Dr. Brené Brown, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” When we admit what we don’t know, we open the door for mentorship, collaboration, and authentic relationships. No one expects a fourth-year associate or a junior in-house counsel to have all the answers. What senior attorneys, clients, and colleagues do expect is honesty, curiosity, and follow-through.

Saying “I’m not sure, but I’ll find out” is not a failure. It’s a promise and it shows courage. And when you deliver on that promise by doing the work, following up, and learning something new, you strengthen trust in yourself and from others.

Confidence Doesn’t Require Perfection

Confidence doesn’t mean we have all the answers. More importantly, confidence does not have to be loud. We demonstrate confidence when our preparation is solid, our ethics are sound, and our instincts are getting sharper. When we have thoroughly researched the grounds for a summary judgment motion, or delivered difficult news to a client with transparency, or raised a concern to a supervisor about a strategy call that doesn’t feel right, we are demonstrating our growing skills and confidence as attorneys.

We do not have to win, be the best, or even get it right every time to feel confident. Rather, we need to have a growth mindset and an eagerness to improve. That growth will build our confidence.

The Sweet Spot: Honest & Prepared

I believe the most effective lawyers (whether brand new or well-seasoned) are those who strike the right balance of being humble enough to ask questions, yet confident enough to call the shots. They don’t fake knowledge, but they don’t shrink away from responsibility either. They prepare deeply and admit openly when they’re unsure. That mix earns far more respect than bravado.

Remember: vulnerability invites connection. Confidence earns credibility. We all need both to build a sustainable and authentic career.

A Few Practical Tips to Foster Confidence and Vulnerability:

Ask Questions Early – Waiting too long to admit confusion often causes bigger problems. Better to clarify up front than to correct a mistake later.

Own Your Growth – Say things like, “I haven’t handled that before, but I’d like to learn,” or “Can you walk me through your approach to this issue?”

Speak with Purpose – When you do know the answer, speak with clarity. Avoid hedging. You’ve worked hard to get here, so don’t undercut yourself.

Normalize Learning – Everyone, even the most seasoned attorney, is still learning. We call it practicing law for a reason: we’re all still getting the hang of it. Model that mindset and you’ll always be teachable and trusted.

Being vulnerable will never diminish your strength; rather, it reveals your character. When we pair that vulnerability with growing confidence and skills, we don’t just become better attorneys, we become individuals that others want to work with, trust, and follow.•

Audreyalice Warner is an associate attorney in Lewis Wagner & Trimble’s litigation group, where she focuses her practice on Premises, Product, Auto and TNC Liabilities. Prior to joining Lewis Wagner & Trimble in 2024, Warner spent nearly six years at the Federal District Court for the Southern District of Indiana where she played an essential role in analyzing motions and preparing orders for a magistrate judge. She also spent a year as an Assistant City Prosecutor for the City of Indianapolis. She is an active member of the Indianapolis Bar Association, serves on the Women in the Law Division Executive Committee, and is a graduate of Bar Leader Class XXI.